Comments on: SEX – How Long Could/Should You ‘Go Without’?

By: Ciccie

Ciccie — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 19:00:41 +0000

I got separated in the beginning of october and had sex again in the beginning of december. Lifesaver for me:-) Like many of you sex within the marriage was almost non excisting and I was desperate for some attention and skin to skin contact. The men I have had sex with ( 2 very different men indeed; one not so good looking psychiatrist who was obsessed with his wife, but sex was great. The other an extremely handsome professor of economy and sex was great here as well)were available on the internet, online dating service, and this worked out perfectly well for me I must admit. I recommend it, but you must be finished with the insecurity and low self-esteem that often accompanies a divorce. And be aware that the men you choose aren`t necessarily long lasting relationship material. Once you rid yourself of these things, this way of getting back up on the horse( literally speaking;-) is perfect for some of us:-) Good luck out there sisters!!!!

By: TWO YEARS without sex? | I am Divorced not Dead

TWO YEARS without sex? | I am Divorced not Dead — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:37:18 +0000

[...] “You can not be serious,” I replied emphatically. (Read more here) [...]

By: Delaine

Delaine — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:28:18 +0000

For me, Nan, it happened when I dated a few different men that I KNEW couldn’t become more. One lived far away in the United States, one didn’t want to ever be a dad, and one wanted kids. These were complete deal-breaking situations for me. Mentally I knew they’d be upstream battles in the relationship department, so I decided to enjoy what I could with them in the limited days we had together.
Since then, I’ve learned to use my brain more when it comes to dating, instead of allowing my heart to go on auto-pilot and sweep me off my feet. That romantic idealism is still a part of me, but it no longer automatically dictates my choices.
That’s how I got there, though it was never a conscious goal. Can’t say it speaks to everyone either.

By: Nan

Nan — Sun, 17 May 2009 16:53:38 +0000

I’ve never had sex, just for sex. I’ve always had to be highly attracted to a man to do the nasty with him and we all know what happens when there is an attraction.
What I wonder is how do you have sex just for sex? How does someone who can’t separate her heart from her libido get past that need to have a connection other than just sex?

By: Cathy

Cathy — Sun, 17 May 2009 14:28:39 +0000

Mili, lucky you! It was the first thing I wanted also but it took longer than a couple of months.
At times I am my own worst enemy.

By: Mili

Mili — Thu, 14 May 2009 21:36:34 +0000

my god… that was the first thing I wanted after I got divorced..GET LAID… and it took like a couple of months…lol

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 14 May 2009 03:33:03 +0000

LOL…I could do two years easy!
By choice, I went almost 7 years without sex…and I was married at the time (closer to 8 if you count this first year of being separated). Was it healthy for me, probably not. Did I take care of business by myself…yes. Did I want to have sex…hell yes. With my ex…hell no. Was I willing to cheat and risk my family…no. I made my choice because at the time the relationship was going downhill fast, I was not physically attracted to my STBX, I did not like who he was as a person, what he did, decisions he made, how he treated me, how I was when I was with him…and knowing all of that…why would I want to have sex with him?
Thank goodness I am out of that situation can choose (or not) to be with someone because I like who they are, they engage and challenge and stimulate my brain and emotions, I am attracted to them physically, or a combination of all of those things.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Tue, 12 May 2009 15:01:25 +0000

Going without became a habit for me, one based on lessons taught me decades ago about what it meant to be a “good girl.”
I did not write those rules but have to take responsibility for continuing to buy into them as an adult. Going without for me was a matter of maintain a level of comfort.
I had been sexually rejected throughout the majority of my marriage. God forbid I put myself out there and be rejected again.
It was all about fear. Fear of no longer being a “good girl” and fear of rejection. The good news is fears and self-imposed rules can be faced and changed.