Fathering, It’s About Love, Not Courage

I feel ill equipped to write about Fathers and Father’s Day. My father was an adequate father. I knew I was loved but I also knew that his children’s needs were not his main priority.

My children’s father went six Father’s Days with no contact with his children. They sent him a gift and called and left a Happy Father’s Day message on Father’s Day 2003. They never heard back from him. He was on vacation in Portugal.

That was the last time they acknowledged Father’s Day or the fact that they have a father.

My experience with my father coupled with my children’s experience with their father leaves me wondering what I could possibly have to say to any father on Father’s Day.

According to President Obama, “any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.”

I have to wonder though if courage really has anything to do with whether or not you are a good father. Good fathering comes from the same place good mothering comes from. It comes from a place of love.

When we love our children we put their needs before our needs. Out of that love grows courage, the guts and stamina to hang in and parent when we would like to shirk the responsibility and run for the hills.

So, on this Father’s Day I want to thank all fathers who understand what it means to love their children. Who work hard every day providing not only the basic needs but also the emotional needs of those wee ones who deserve a Dad to look up to and admire.

We hear a lot about bad fathers but not nearly enough about good fathers. I hope every father who goes out of his way to show his children how much they are loved has a special day today.

And, that they are aware every day of their importance…that their children would be lost without them. That they are more than a provider of things but are also a provider of security, self-confidence, self-esteem and most importantly through their actions are teaching their little ones how to love and one day become good parents themselves.

Cathy

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