Friends in Need, Supporting Those We Love

Submitted by: Maya

I have a friend who is really down in the dumps.  It seems to be pretty prevalent these days.

She’s strong, she’s independent, she’s wise and she feels beaten.  Her life has so many dark corners in it right now and she finds some comfort in staying in those dark places where the shadows match her moods.

I can give all sorts of advice about how I have crawled out of dark places but I can’t force her to take the advice.  I can beg her to go to her doctor, get a check-up, get her blood work done, talk, tell her doctor how she’s feeling.  I can describe the feeling of a new haircut but when the chair swivels around, the face is still the same, lined in grief.  Still the sensation of someone else touching my hair, the lovely snip of scissors, the fresh feeling when I reach up to feel healthy ends.

I suggest massages, opening up to hands on her body to knead out the knots from too-tight shoulders or an aching back.  I have heard tales of masseusses who have had their clients crying from deep inside, the kneading of their torn hearts moving through the aching bones and muscles. It’s part of healing to lose those tears when they come freely.

Or even something as trivial as going out to the mailbox to get your mail.  Instead of slippers and sweatpants, forcing yourself into nice jeans, a top that accents your eyes, a little mascara and brushing your teeth.  Taking that step past your mailbox and taking a deep breath.  Moving on.

I bought myself an ipod and loaded songs from every single chapter of my life on to it.  I found a walking track very close to my home and started to walk.  I’d have to shove myself out of the door every day at the beginning but I had a job to do ~ for myself ~ and no one was going to do it for me.

Watching cooking shows and being inspired with fresh foods, colours and crispness.  Focus on things other than what surrounds you, instead open yourself up to what is right about your life because there is so much.

Try a gratitude journal.  Every day write ten things that make you feel grateful.  Some days it’s enough just to think, “I woke up”  and “I’m breathing” and “I have eyes so I can see.”  But if you begin to take notice of things to appreciate, more things come into view.

Read good books.  Read funny books.  Read Janet Evanovich.  Laugh our loud.  Dance behind closed doors, smile at the face in the mirror.  Find your good side.

You can wallow or you can move.  You can shrink or you can grow.  The bottom line is that it is up to you, how you choose to look at your life.  Be kind to yourself, look for bliss.  In the smallest of places you will find a forget-me-not.  Look for it.  Don’t give up, don’t hide away.  It’s all up to you…

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