Submitted by Delaine
This past Friday night, I found myself wanting to get dressed up and go out, but all of my girlfriends were busy. I was frustrated; I didn’t want to spend my limited time off without kids watching a movie at home. But what was the alternative? Go to a bar lounge by myself? No way!
I then began wondering how many divorced women find themselves in this situation. Cause let’s face it – once we hit a certain age, most of our friends are married, have kids and aren’t interested in going out.
Would I ever consider going out by myself? I asked myself seriously. Hmmm. Visions of me sitting awkwardly at a bar sprung to my imagination. I saw people looking over at me – judging me: Desperate? Skank? Alcoholic? Depressed? Overwrought with self-consciousness, I’d play with my cell phone… Suddenly – oh phew! Someone comes over to talk to me! And yup – figures. He’s drunk, homely and overly-convinced I need his company.
With all these questions running through my mind, I decided to ask some girlfriends if they’d ever gone out alone. Of the seven friends I queried, three said they HAD, in fact, deliberately gone out alone; the rest shared the same paranoid insecurities as me.
Intrigued, I asked those who had what it was like. Here’s what I got back:
1) It’s all about attitude and confidence. If you sit there all awkward, others will pick up on it. Own it – you’re by yourself. Who cares?
2) If you want to meet people, it’s more effective to sit at the bar than a table.
3) If you’re overly self-conscious, in some cases you might try bringing a laptop or book.
4) Men AND women are more inclined to approach you if you’re alone.
5) If you’re worried about looking like a slut, don’t dress like one. And smile in a friendly way at women too – you don’t want ‘Cougar On The Prowl’ written all over you. *grin
I don’t know…my friends make it sound so easy. But sheesh, it does sound a lot more exciting than alphabetizing the spice rack, don’t you think?