Why I Like To Date Divorced Men
August 27, 2009 by Amelia
Filed under Dating & Sex, delainemoore
Submitted by Delaine
When I was younger (and thought I knew it all), I found it a total turn-off if a man told me he was divorced. Immediately, I thought “failure”, “tainted,” and “person-with-luggage.”
But today, as I wade through the sea of men on dating sites, I find I’ve done a 360 – I actually gravitate more towards those whose status reads “divorced” than those who are “single.” Here’s why: 
- Oftentimes, they are fathers. They’ll know first-hand what kind of commitment and lifestyle that involves. AND they probably won’t want me to have a child with them!
- The very fact that they tied the knot once before suggests that they believe(d) in love and commitment.
- They may have a greater appreciation for a woman’s post-pregnancy body than forever-single men.
- It suggests they may be a better lover for having sustained some kind of physical intimacy with another woman long-term.
- Having been married AND getting divorced suggests they’ve had time to know themselves better – AND – learn from past mistakes.
- It suggests they’re interested in doing it RIGHT next time around. They will choose a new partner for better reasons, ie: a clearer understanding of what love is and what goes into making a healthy relationship verses pressure from society/family and the need to have children.
- Some other woman loved him enough to test-drive him so he can’t be that bad!
I know I’m making generalizations here, and every person is a stand-alone case. I just find it ironic that the tables have completely turned: it’s the “single” status men that make me frown, not the “divorced” ones. I can’t help but envision single men as another child attached to my apron strings; I think “wanderer’, “selfish” and “in great need of attention.” BUT – if he’s cute and has a way with the written word, I’ll definitely give him a chance anyways. I’m open to be proven wrong!
Delaine – www.iamdivorcednotdead.com
Other Articles:
Sexual Adventure: Less Than A Bump & A Grind
Women’s Sexuality: A Starting Point Or End Point For Learning
Good decision Delaine. You would be leaving out a bunch of pretty great guys if getting divorced was a deal breaker. After all, I would guess you would hope the reverse is also true for the guys looking
Absolutely Barry, I’d hope my being divorced was a positive thing in men’s eyes verses a negative. I think it is. I can reverse everything I wrote on that list and apply it to myself – and I think it makes me and other divorced women a great catch.
I find it fascinating how much my own ‘divorced’ status has evolved; for truth is, when I first got separated, I felt very ashamed and insecure about it. I was afraid of being harshly judged for it. But now, a couple years into it, I wear that status with dignity cause I’ve worked hard to improve myself and the lives of my kids. And there’s been tremendous growth and change; what’s embarassing about that????
Hey, I’m wading too
I’m with you for all of the reasons you list. I just have the utmost of respect for single moms for everything they face in daily life and how strong they really are. That is the type of person I want to be with. Nothing against non-married, childless women at all.
I have to say thank you. It’s encouraging to know there are some women out there that appreciate a responsible divorced dad.
I think all those darn growing pains we go through as a result of divorce end up molding us into better people – if we do the work – mind you, that DOES take time (my hand is waving the air, been there – been there).
NOW – separated men is another story lol. I assume you feel the same about separated women! Those guys I avoid dating altogether, no matter what they say or how cute they might be! I pity any man who dated me back then:)
i always ask any man who has been in a long term relationship “what did you do wrong in the relationship?”
if the answer is “nothing!” or “i don’t know…she just LEFT!” then i am very wary. it suggests a lack of “learning from the past”. my ex husband, as well as my baby’s father, ma have both been jerks, but i had my own mistakes to take ownership of…and if i don’t learn from them, the next guy is just as doomed.
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What about the word “vow” don’t you understand?
Divorced fathers with kids are broke and needy.
They are entirely disposable.
I guess that is the attraction, however, you’re learning nothing of value from them. You’re learning failure in relationships.
Especially if they have kids, they proved only that they have bad judgment. They got dumped or domped their spouse because they are lazy, selfish and lying, very likely.
A whole generation of vacant characters results. Don’t be a part of it.