Divorced Women’s Dating Styles

Submitted by: Cathy

Dating after divorce can be a wonderful new beginning but everyone approaches it differently. Below is a list I came up with to describe various divorced gals dating styles I’ve observed over the years. A few I’ve been guilty of myself.

Ladies, you will find that you may fit in to more than one category. Some of you will even transition back and forth between categories at any given time. Let me know if I’ve missed any?

Guys, which of these gals have you dated? Hopefully this will help you understand better who might be sitting across from you the next time too.

“DIVORCED WOMEN’S DATING STYLES”

Damaged Daters:

You don’t trust anyone anymore with your heart. You’ve been burned. You are not so quick to jump back into another relationship, but you go anyway because you think you are supposed to at least try. Your cynical vibes smell defensive and stink up the room. Wear extra perfume.

I Don’t Care Daters:

You are not interested. You’re energy is focused elsewhere. You need time to find out who you are. You go just because someone is very nice but you really don’t care, but you don’t let him know you don’t care. He doesn’t pick you up but you don’t care, he calls you again and you go again even though you don’t care.

All About Sex Daters:

Your hormones are swinging and you’re going to try and act the way you think some men act, and just use someone for sex. You want this person to treat you as if they care about you, even though you don’t really care about them. You love the fact that you never expect a call, and call them when they least expect it. Woo Hoo!

Panic Daters:

You need a new man at all costs. You feel your clock ticking and think you are getting older and less attractive by the second. You can’t imagine how you will pay all the bills by yourself or handle household problems and children solo. You tolerate unsavory qualities like a twitch, if his salary is high enough. You will cancel plans with your own mother to make a date on a moments notice.

Smother Daters:

You like him, NO you LOVE him, NO you’re ‘obsessed’ with him. You’re the one who has called too many times. Are you there?? Hello…I thought you said you would call at 4, its 4:05. Pick up the phone, I know you are there. Hello! Hello! Hello…Honey, he’s not picking up for a reason.

Serial Daters:

Dating for you is an Olympic sport. You entertain every possible category of potential mate as often as is humanly possible. You need to jot down notes on each guy and check the notes often so as not to confuse Bob with Bill or Ben. Often serial daters return to the same location with a different date each time. You might want to consider tipping the wait staff to not say “Is this the same guy as last week?”

Chemistry or Nothing Daters:

You want to pass back through the revolving door as soon as you spot your date at the bar. Nothing he says or does will matter if you are not attracted to him…if there is no “chemistry.” You will try not to show your disappointment and stay longer than you want to, but you wish you had a good enough excuse to leave. He’s a lovely person but because you stayed so long he thinks you like him. You would like to remain friends. You know he will never see you again.

Therapy Daters:

You use your date as a psychotherapy session . Saves time and money especially if you have no health insurance. Of course you will eventually end up in real therapy trying to figure out why there is never a second date.

Happy Daters:

You’re comfortable with who you are and are open minded to whoever your date turns out to be. You are genuine and warm and appreciative of this other persons attempt to find love and companionship too. You know that if he turns out not to be “the one” he may become a great friend.

You say yes to men who are good companions and good for you, you say no to those who are not and, you’ve learned to tell the difference. And while you look for “the one” you continue to enjoy and appreciate the full life you already have.

It is my wish – that you all become Happy Daters!