Comments on: A Shocking Confrontation Proves That The ‘Divorcee’ Stereotype Is Alive & Well

By: Does Anyone Else Smell A Cheater Or Is It Just Me? | I am Divorced not Dead

Does Anyone Else Smell A Cheater Or Is It Just Me? | I am Divorced not Dead — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:00:23 +0000

[...] been accused by a girlfriend of having an affair with her husband. And since I’d recently been accused of the same by a neighbor, she wanted help sorting through the [...]

By: delainem

delainem — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:57:20 +0000

Great point Maya – suddenly a few memories spring to mind of husbands giving me ‘that’ vibe while I was still married. Too often I still gave them the benefit of the doubt. The problem I face now is that when wives sense or see a ‘vibe,’ they blame me instead of the husband; I’m the easy target. Makes sense, but truly, this is drama I want NO part of.

By: DelaineM

DelaineM — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:32:19 +0000

Kate, I’m so sorry to hear that it has affected your kids as well. That’s one area I was lucky in because my ex always worked out of town so people were used to me being solo whether it was out mowing the lawn, or at social events, even weddings. I think that helped when it came to organzing playdates – people were accustomed to their kids playing in pretty much a single-parent home already.

I curled inwards when I first divorced when it came to socializing with more distant friends – I sort of assumed they were judging me, that they were looking at me differently, and to this day I don’t know if that was real or imagined.

Sometimes, when some kind of ‘incident’ goes down between the kids in the neighbourhood, ie, someone ends up crying, I do worry that people will think “Oh, Delaine’s kids must have caused it cause THEY come from a broken home.” But again, I don’t know if that’s coming from me…or I’m picking up on the judgements of others.

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:41:49 +0000

It is unfortunate that our children suffer the most when a marriage breaks apart. While I fully expected not to socialize as much with my married friends after my husband left, I never expected my kids would stop being invited over to friends’ houses or that other children would no longer be allowed to play at my house. Although my work schedule does limit the number of days I am able to host playdates, I am always happy to have my children’s schoolmates over on my days off. It is sad that some families in our town decided our family wasn’t good enough anymore, but at least we know now who our real, albeit few, friends are!

By: DIvorced Father

DIvorced Father — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:15:19 +0000

Cathy….yeah..definitely.

By: Cathy

Cathy — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:14:07 +0000

Divorced Father…good stuff huh?

By: maya

maya — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:53:06 +0000

I was told once by a lonely single mother that these things often happen, I remember how I used to make a special effort to invite those single women to my parties and barbecues because that point had been made so poignantly to me. But, sadly ~ it was true. When my marriage broke, I was no longer invited to places anymore because I didn’t have a ‘him’ to hang with (on to). As if I actually would have wanted those guys who were my neighbours, my friend’s partners, family men, men whose skeezy antics I had watched over the years. Yes I was squeezed inappropriately, I was butt-patted, I was chatted up when I might happen to be in places where they were ~ but no longer at the parties that I would normally have been invited to. Don’t those frightened and territorial women realise that those guys do what they do no matter what? That it has nothing to do with your being single or independent ~ just that it happens because you are a woman? (Or a man…) Those poor, frightened wives must live empty lives behind their doors if all they can do is worry about what you are up to.

By: DIvorced Father

DIvorced Father — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 14:27:44 +0000

I love the link to the next article under this one:
“Uninhibited, Sensual Pleasures…How Open Are You?”!

By: Wendy

Wendy — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:57:15 +0000

LMAO

….sorry that you got accused of that Delaine, but it was soo funny I nearly fell of my chair, especially about the part that you find him physically unattractive he he he he.

WOW!

Shame the poor thing, she must have some huge insecurity issues to have gone off on you like that. However I know the feeling. All of a sudden people avoid you and if you talk to a person that happens to be a male and he happens to be married then you have his wife hovering around just to make sure nothing other then pleasantries are being exchanged!! So I made it a point of avoiding every married man, and if I happend to speak to someone I would stand at least 1 metre apart from that person and I would be making polite conversation about his wife! Yes I really did that, especially at church.

I did realise that at some or other stage this would happen and I didnt want my name being linked to any unattractive married creature. Ewwww
I think that society has this idea that just because we are divorcee’s we are chasing after every male that makes himself available married or not. Hello!!?? Some of us do have pride and a guy that was remotely linked to a relationship/marriage/dating someone for longer then a week, I wasnt interested in. I wanted someone that was free and unattached as I wasnt planning on taking the title for divorcee and homewrecker……no thanks!

By: DelaineM

DelaineM — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:07:22 +0000

A girlfriend of mine whom I told of these goings-on said she thinks this woman’s husband said something to her – maybe something nice about me, and it got her back up. Regardless, it’s like whew honey, don’t take your insecurities out of me!

In all honestly though, I stood there and defended myself as if I needed to prove my innocence; I was just so shocked by the entire ordeal. I have been nothing but respectful and kind to these people and their children, I just can’t believe she’d assume I was a home wrecker on the make because I’m friendly!!!