Tiger Woods “R” Us

Submitted by: Erica Manfred

56842941I’ve been wondering why the Tiger Woods thing is such a big deal in the media. Why do people care about Tiger’s infidelities? After all, it seems to me that infidelity is treated as no big deal in this country. Men cheat every day, get caught, get divorced, leave their kids, drag their kids into the home of the other woman and truly no one gives a damn, including the courts. Adultery isn’t even a cause for divorce in 48 states (still is in New York—bless my state). So why the big fuss?

I read the thread on the ABC news site about the story and almost 100% of the comments said it was private matters, no big deal, leave the guy alone. My favorite comment was by a woman who caught her husband cheating and took a golf club to his Lexus. She still remembers how much fun that was. Some commenters speculated he would go off his game, lose his sponsors, and wind up leaving the golf world in disgrace, but the majority couldn’t understand why the media was making such a fuss about mere cheating.

No one mentioned his children, who I had to Google to find out he actuallytiger-woods-family had. He has two children, babies, who luckily aren’t old enough to be affected by this scandal—NOW. But, they sure will be in the future. His kids will be the victims of this scandal if it ends in divorce—or even if it doesn’t, because they will be old enough to read someday. I find it amazing that Tiger’s children were totally ignored by the media during this scandal.

If there are just two adults involved, married or not, I agree that cheating should be a private affair. Of course cheating hurts no matter what, marriage vows shouldn’t be violated, but maybe your marriage should end, you should move on. Cheating can also be a wake-up call for your marriage—time to reevaluate what’s going on between the two of you and try to establish a different relationship—an honest one.

When there are children involved, cheating is another level of offense—against those children as well as your spouse. Children who have to face a parent’s infidelity are going to be…read more

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Comments

  1. 1

    says


    I said, “How can you leave her.” He said, “I’m not leaving her, she’ll see me all the time, I’m just moving.” Huh???

    In my situation where I was leaving an abusing relationship, this argument was thrown at me every step of the way.

    And, finally I said, I’m not leaving them. I’m leaving you. But, reasons are very important to this action.

    Your Ex did leave your daughter. He abandoned her part time. Since his leaving was for selfish reasons [ I’m assuming ] and he did it because he was not in love. [ lame ]

    Tiger did not think of his children. If he was thinking of his children, he would of thought of his wife, and to think of the children would of forced him to evaluate his relationship and his cheating habits.

    He’s having his cake, and trying to eat it too.

  2. 2

    Sonia says

    My children are also devastated by the loss of their intact family, which is solely my husband’s choice. He also “never acknowledged the damage he did, not then, not now.”

    What is wrong with men like this? How can they be so selfish? Oh wait, I forgot, my husband was “unhappy,” so in his own mind he was justified in cheating, lying, and walking away from his marriage. Never mind attempting to tell his WIFE and about his feeling and trying to work on our life TOGETHER.

  3. 3

    says

    Sonia,

    What’s wrong with men like this? Well, it’s simple. You are witnessing a full on childlike selfishness. I would say, that really, the “unhappy” is an excuse. Men, tend to lie to soften the blow by saying that there was something wrong with them. When in fact, he just got caught being selfish, and acting out on the lust he had for another women.

    Of course he is unhappy. But not for the reasons he may have provided. Lying, is a behavior that put’s a great deal of stress on a person, until they reach a point when they break. They use this unhappiness of lying, that they have self-inflicted as the reason for the overall problem. When really, it is the problem with lying. he is just projecting this and declaring that he is unhappy with the overall relationship. (Really he is unhappy that he got caught)

    I do not believe he will acknowledge his work in destroying the home, until he reaches a point in his life that is so low, that he has no other choice then to re-evaluate how he got there.

    When people (I say this because I’ve witnessed women do this) do bad things, they first attempt to disassociate their behavior with the consequence. And shift around the “reason” to fit the view that the other person has for them.

    Which is why you get a feeling, that the reason seems to fit, but not really. Truth will always be simple, never complex. The moment someone starts telling you something that appears overly complicated and confusing, or lacks what appears to be a fullness of information. More likely than not, it is a lie.

  4. 4

    says

    Sonia, Travis is right. “Unhappy” is the oldest excuse in the book for selfish behavior. It is a way of deflecting their actions back onto you…trying to make you responsible for him having to cheat.

    My ex told me he had been “unhappy” for years. From the very beginning. Funny thing is, he appeared to be happy. Quite satisfied in fact.

    His unhappiness came as a surprise to me and I believed him. I took full responsibility, beat myself up for not being a better wife. After I worked past that I got pissed at him for not sharing his unyhappiness with me which would have given us the opportunity to work on the marriage.

    It took some time but I finally realized that he wasn’t unhappy. He was selfish and childish and God forbid he ever have to own that about himself.

    I worked with both men and women who’ve heard the same excuse from their walk-away spouse. And that is all it is, an excuse for their bad behavior.

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