Fashion flair, the French way: Lesson One – Find your style

Submitted by: Big Little Wolf

Ready for Paris?

I already fessed up to not being a fashion consultant in my introduction to French Fashion Flair. Not officially anyway. But the fact is, I’ve loved each and every opportunity to spend time with women friends, as they’ve adjusted their wardrobes, their hairstyles, and even their interiors. And I’ve given myself a makeover many a time, including post divorce.  I’ll chalk all this up to an artistic eye, an adult fascination with “dress up” that’s as enthusiastic as it was at age ten, and many trips to the City of Lights, where elegance and playfulness are always in style.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, did you do your homework?  Did you open a fashion magazine, or page through some sites online, like Style.com or others?

And you get extra credit if you thought to poke around in your own closet, to see what works, what’s never been worn, what’s hopelessly outdated, or simply not this you.

Remember – this is the agenda, in five easy lessons.

• Find your style
• The power of perfume
• The French scarf
• The signature accessory
• Confidence

Now – let’s get going on Lesson One!

Lesson One:  Find your style, know what you like, be your own woman

Style is accessible no matter what your age, your circumstance, or your budget. It’s all about deciding what you like, what makes you feel good, and what helps you feel like your best self.

You may already know whom you admire, when it comes to personal taste and fashion sense. Perhaps it is a celebrity – an actress or model. Maybe it’s Scarlett Johansson, Victoria Beckham, Heidi Klum, or the sexy and chic Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep. Could it be Madonna in the 80s, or Madonna in the 90s, and still Madonna, as she has managed to transform herself over 25 years?  Maybe you turn to film icons Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, or Grace Kelly (do give plenty of credit to designers Givenchy and Edith Head). Or, your style guru may be the creator of the little black dress herself – Coco Chanel.

Personally, I adore all these women, not to mention the dramatically divergent and equally audacious styles of Kim Cattrall (Samantha in Sex and the City), designer Betsy Johnson, and star stylist Rachel Zoe.

Fashionable, every day

If you know what you like in others, you have clues to what you will like in yourself. This is as true when it comes to character or personality by the way, as it is when it comes to personal style. And if there’s great variation in those you admire? Everything from minimalist and tailored, to Boho (Bohemian) chic?

There’s no rule book that says you can’t adopt several sorts of looks. Or rather, if there is a rule book like that, I for one have always ignored it. And that’s the essence of Lesson One: find what you like, be your own woman.

In other words, there are two or three looks that I adore, and they all work well for me. Why shouldn’t I acknowledge that each is a part of my personality, and I can clothe myself accordingly? I know who I am. I know what I like. I am my own woman.

Why are French women so successful at carrying off whatever look they choose? They are comfortable in their individuality. Their uniqueness. They know themselves, and I concede that is a long and ongoing process for most of us, rather than a particular milestone.

And a wee bit of reality check: Do give yourself a break on days when you simply haven’t the energy to deal with fashion, not to mention the occasional fashion faux-pas. Who doesn’t have a really crappy day – or week, or month? Who doesn’t run out in any old thing when you’re in a rush, and careen right into a breathlessly handsome man? Of course, that’s one great reason to take what may be as little as five minutes for the tiniest hint of makeup, or a brightly colored sweater. Even on an off day, I know I feel better when I look better.

How do you find a style that’s right for you?

In addition to looking at celebrities, style icons, and fashion magazines, you should also look at your friends. Who seems to have it together in a way that appeals to you? You can also look to your friends – for their opinions, as long as you don’t take them as written in stone.

Do wander the department stores, and don’t let it overwhelm you. Many have personal shopping services, and they don’t necessarily cost. Ask for the help of a sales person. Tell her you’re trying to redefine your style with a few simple pieces. The first time you do this, if you don’t trust yourself – leave your credit cards at home. You can always have a store put purchases on hold for you, and return the next day, when you’ve had a chance to think about it. And if you do make a purchase you later think was a mistake? Take it back! Don’t put a “some day, maybe” piece of clothing in your closet, or another “when I lose ten pounds” item either. (We’ve all done it, I know.)

What else can be a help in finding your style?

Turn to your interiors as a guide. Frequently, we surround ourselves with furnishings that mirror our taste in clothing – or vice versa. (And if you’re still raising little ones, think of this as your “desired” interiors, rather than the toy-strewn sofas from your grad school days.) The objects and colors you live with – or wish to – are clues to your wardrobe style.

This might translate into classic and clean, geek chic, Bohemian flirty, fitted and sexy, or frilly and floral. And this spring season, there’s something for everyone.

Accept your body type

Did I really just say that – accept ourselves as we are? I did. Does that mean if we’re too skinny or truly too heavy that we shouldn’t try to remedy the situation?

Health comes first. And a healthy diet and exercise will impact how you feel, how you relate to people, the glow of your skin, the luster in your hair – not to mention your brain power and mood!

If you genuinely believe you are overweight, follow a sensible diet plan that is about improving your health, not meeting some rigid standard of dress size or weight or BMI. I can honestly say that my self-image is no longer a function of how much I weigh. But it has everything to do with the fit of my clothes and the energy in my step.

When I say accept your body type, I mean recognizing basics like height, build, as well as your good points. You may be very tall, very short, broad shouldered, long waisted, pear shaped, or top heavy. You also may have gorgeous hands, lovely feet, an elegant neck, or beautiful legs. I’m five feet tall with an ample chest. Given that, I know to elongate, and wear nothing fussy around the neck or shoulders. I may love certain looks, but they simply won’t work on me. I also play up my eyes, my collar bones, my cleavage; I no longer fight my body type; I’ve learned to work with it and appreciate it.

And stay tuned for Lesson Two: the power of perfume, coming next!

© D A Wolf

These days, Big Little Wolf (”Ms. Big”) reflects on life and her Daily Plate of Crazy, where she writes essays on everything – sometimes serious, sometimes fun – whatever strikes her on a given day as interesting, unusual, entertaining, or of concern.

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Fashion Flair: The French Way