Ask The Divorce Coach: Flashbacks

 

Question:

Dear Shelley,

How do I stop the constant flashbacks?  Flashbacks include him being with 2 girlfriends and extreme emotional abuse.  I’m in therapy, but would like your input.

Cathy

Answer:

Dear Cathy,

How do u feel when your mind chatter speaks up? Bad. Your mind chatter is your wounded ego and it is not you. It is your pain speaking and of course it is negative. Just be on guard and notice it…then choose to not listen. It is your self saboteur. It is either you controlling you or your mind chatter.

Also, your ex’s cheating and abuse do not have to mean anything about you. It does not have to mean you are a failure or less than. We create meanings about ourselves due to our pain. All you want to do is notice where you might have been responsible (perhaps by allowing him to abuse you) and learn from it so you do not allow it to happen again. To heal old emotional baggage. To come out of this a more whole person.

Sincerely,

Shelley

 

Shelley Stile is an ACC certified Divorce Recovery Life Coach and author who guides her clients to let go the pain of their divorce and move on to create new and vibrant lives after divorce. Shelley has been through her own divorce so she knows first-hand about the journey of divorce recovery. Receive her free, powerful e-book, The 10 Secrets to Coping with Divorce’, and her monthly ‘Take Back Your Life After Divorce’ Newsletter by going to: http://www.freedivorcesupport.com.

 

 

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