Submitted by: Mark Banschick M.D.
This question undoubtedly wracks the minds and hearts of those contemplating, or going through, divorce. You want to know how the people you care most about —your children—will fare with a disrupted family. You wonder how they will cope when everything they know and trust changes.
The answer is yes, divorce will affect your children. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and how they respond will depend on how you and your soon-to-be ex handle the situation. If you keep the fighting away from your kids, and if each of you provides them with a loving, stable environment in which to grow, they should do just fine.
Don’t focus on the statistics. They will tell you that children of intact families fare better than those of divorced families; we see this comparison as unfair. Intact families are not always happy or nurturing and divorced families are not always cold or torn.
Stability is key and you may be better able to provide this for your kids if you and your partner lead separate lives. There is nothing like having happy, loving adults to look up to as you grow.
So, instead of focusing on whether divorce can affect your kids, consider how the change can be positive for them. This will include understanding your children’ needs at this time and learning how to deal with your ex effectively.
Mark R. Banschick, M.D. is a diplomat of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology with over 20 years of experience in child and adolescent psychiatry. The Intelligent Divorce course evolved from his work as an expert witness in custody disputes. Dr. Banschick has appeared on the CBS Early Show and has been quoted in The New York Times, The Huffington Post and firstwivesworld.com.
Dr. Mark Banschick’s book, The Intelligent Divorce is a powerful and inspirational self guided resource that will change your life and the lives of your children. Order your copy today!