Submitted by: Big Little Wolf
A few days ago, I spent a few hours with a woman I’m just getting to know. We sat at her kitchen table, chatting about a little of this and a little of that. Of course we talked about our children. She has two teen girls about the same age as my teen boys. In fact, they attend the same school.
What else did we have in common?
We’re the same age, we’ve been divorced the same number of years, we’re both professionals – and we’ve both experienced single parenting after unexpected layoffs.
We sipped our Côtes du Rhône, nibbled on stuffed olives, and we talked about men. But for all our commonalities, there were clear differences.
“The three of us work,” she explained, referring to herself and her daughters as a cohesive family unit. “I never wanted to bring someone else into that mix, and throw things off.”
I understood where she was coming from. My children have always been my priority, and I make no bones about that. They were still little when I divorced, and as a single mother I never wanted to be the revolving door. I had a friend who was exactly that, and I watched what it did to her kids over the years. I wanted my boys to have stability.
And then my hostess said, “I’m content not dating. I don’t really miss men.”
She seemed genuine in her remarks, and I found myself baffled and envious at the same time. Sexual desire doesn’t disappear at 40 or 50 or 60 for that matter. It remains a vital part of life, for some of us more than others. And the fact is, while I’m comfortable alone, I am not content, and I do miss men.
But it’s more than wanting a man in my bed. I’d like a man in my life – knowing full well that any man won’t do.
What about you? Are you content in your own? Is a life without a man a blessing, a curse, or something in between?
© D A Wolf / BigLittleWolf.
These days, Big Little Wolf (”Ms. Big”) reflects on life and her Daily Plate of Crazy, where she writes essays on everything – sometimes serious, sometimes fun – whatever strikes her on a given day as interesting, unusual, entertaining, or of concern.