Submitted by Delaine
Since separating from my ex-husband three years ago, I haven’t slept with many men; in fact, less than a handful.
Oh – let me clarify: I mean actually sleeping with men.
This has been the case for two reasons. One, I haven’t wanted to sleep beside most of them. And two, I usually have my kids at home and don’t want to expose them to my dating/sex life.
Thus, the few times I have actually slept with men, their presence in my bed was VERY obvious to me. Sure, the cuddling and stuff was really nice. But the quality of my sleep was sorely lacking!
The first man jarred me awake all night with his SNORING. God, that was a ruckus I’d prefer to forget! It quickly brought up memories of my ex-husband snoring, especially after a night of drinking whiskey. The thing is, with my ex, I could get grumpy and shake him hard (or kick him *smile). But with my new lover, I obviously showed restraint…and I just lay there, staring at the ceiling, listening to the ‘man-sounds’ whistling and bellowing beside me.
Then there was Chad, my now-gone Friend With Benefits. He had “I’m a longtime bachelor” written all over his sleeping. He liked to lie on his stomach - not neatly, on his side of the bed, but in a starfish position. And as I lay there restlessly trying to find an inch of free mattress, NOTHING would wake this guy up. I mean nothing. You could tell he’d never gotten up with a crying baby or toddler who wet the bed. And when he woke up in the morning all smiling and refreshed, he couldn’t believe I hadn’t slept well too!
And last, but certainly not least, there was the ’twitcher’. This man went into a deeeeeeep sleep but would twitch every minute or so. I lay there waiting for it to pass – It will pass, I thought, willing myself to ignore it. But two hours later, then awoken for the 20th time, I resigned myself to a loooooog night.
I know some day I will want to have a special man sleep beside me. And I’ll want him there every night. And whether he snores or hogs the bed or twitches, I know I’ll just get used to it.
But in the meantime, until he comes along, note to self: Always make sure you can take a nap the next day, Delaine. Sleeping with men can be exhausting:).