I broke up with a man five months ago whom I was with for six years. Two months after we broke up he was engaged to another woman and didn’t even bother telling me. It became apparent to me that he was with this woman when we were together but I didn’t see it then.
My problem isn’t wanting him back because I think he is unsuited to me – it’s how he has conducted himself with no respect or sensitivity toward me (I didn’t do anything to upset him). Do men like this end up with bad karma? I just need to know that there is some kind of balance to these events, and sometimes I feel like I’m the one being punished as I haven’t met another man, yet he is being rewarded. Please help!
Thank you for listening.
In life we hold core beliefs about how things should be. We believe that people should treat each other with integrity, empathy and respect. We believe they should be sensitive to one another’s feelings. These are good beliefs and life would be a whole lot better in general if everyone lived according to those beliefs BUT life does not always conform to our way of thinking. Oftentimes people are not kind to one another. Oftentimes, people act in an insensitive manner. That’s just the way it is. Just because I may hold a belief about how things should be does not mean that others operate in the same way. That’s just the nature of life. Life is not always fair and to expect it to be will only lead to disappointment, resentment, anger and sadness.
We cannot allow our personal beliefs create expectations of others that are not under our control. It seems that is where you are at right now. Yes, it is hurtful to think that someone may have lied to us, that they seem to move on without a trace of empathy but that’s just the way some people operate. It’s a matter of accepting ‘what is’ versus what you think ‘should be’ or ‘could be’ or what you think is ‘supposed to be’.
You don’t know that he is being rewarded and you don’t know what lies ahead for you in your future. Being human means living with a sense of uncertainty. That too is just life.
You must learn to let go of the things that you cannot control. You must learn to differentiate between what you can and cannot control in life. If you feel like you are having a hard time with this concept then get some support to move you forward as you have one precious life to live.