I feel a great need and desire to write a letter to my ex’s family. We were married for 27 years and they were my family for longer than that. My ex-husband had an affair and left my 16-year-old son and I. We have both remarried but my ex has no relationship with our son – but that’s another issue unto itself…
I would like to know how to go about writing them. I know he has told them lies about me and our marriage and that really hurts me. I would have hoped that they would known me better after almost 30 years. I don’t want to bad mouth him, but I also don’t have a problem telling the truth which I don’t feel he did. I love this family and miss them. They have had no contact with myself or our son since he left almost two years ago. I feel it would help me to fully move on in my new relationship to be able to tell them I’m sorry for my part in the divorce and to hopefully get a small portion of the relationship back.
Thanks for your advice
Concentrate on the last line of your e-mail, “”tell them I am sorry for my part in the divorce and hopefully get a small portion of that relationship back.”
You will only further alienate the family by bad mouthing your ex. Be your best self. Let them know how you really feel in a way that will touch them, not anger them.
In terms of you getting on with your new relationship, don ‘t make that contingent on an uncontrollable situation with your ex’s family. If you have to write a letter where you fully vent and say whatever comes to mind, do but do not mail it. Burn it in a ceremony that allows you to fully let go of all the past stuff.
Best to you,