Submitted by: Shelley Stile
I know I should move on – the list of “cons” to being married to him is so LOOOONG. But I am attached/co-dependent on him and I constantly think about what we COULD have (if he was different) and I keep hoping and beleiving that MAYBE if he would change we would have what I always wanted. Why am I attached to a loser?????
The interesting part of this journey is finding out why you are attracted to someone and a marriage that does not serve you. When you find the answer it can transform your future. Its about doing some inner work for self-discovery and growth.
Nonetheless, you are not living in reality or ‘what is’. You are living in a fantasy of what ‘could be’ or should be’ versus what is. He is who he is. It’s futile to think about what you could have had ‘if’? You have what you have right here and now. Acceptance of our true reality leads us to be able to start making new choices as to how we want to live our life.
Start with yourself. Begin examining your own behavior and patterns and see how the way you are being is harming you and robbing you of all the possibilities that just might exist for you. If you think that you are co-dependent figure out the why behind it and stop being co-dependent.
Get coached or see a therapist. Start taking actionable steps towards a new future.
Shelley Stile is an ACC certified Divorce Recovery Life Coach and author who guides her clients to let go the pain of their divorce and move on to create new and vibrant lives after divorce. Shelley has been through her own divorce so she knows first-hand about the journey of divorce recovery. Receive her free, powerful e-book, The 10 Secrets to Coping with Divorce’, and her monthly ‘Take Back Your Life After Divorce’ Newsletter by going to: http://www.lifeafterdivorce.com.