Submitted by: Cathy Meyer
I am divorced and my ex-husband and I have a daughter. I have been remarried for 3 years. My husband is also divorced but without any children of his own. When divorce papers were drawn it stated that I have full custody with my ex having once a month weekend visitation at his parents’ home. That was 5 years ago. My ex has recently asked if he could have our daughter for the Easter weekend. My, selfish, initial response is NO but I understand that he wants to try and finally step up and make memories with her. My now husband is completely against her going during Easter and told me he would be very upset if I let her go. My parents and sister HATE my ex-husband and don’t think I should let her go. Can you give me some kind of advice or guidance? I am stressed out over this!!
I can’t give advice without knowing the “story.” So, let me put it this way…if your ex-husband, the father of your child does not have a history of domestic abuse, does not have a history of endangering his daughter then he should be allowed extended visits with her. If you are 100% sure that your daughter is safe with her father then you have no reason to deny him the opportunity to spend Easter with his child.
As for your present husband and your family, they have no say in this situation and you should NOT allow them to influence your decision making. Your ex-husband is your child’s biological father. His needs and desires where his child is concerned are more important than the needs and desires of her step-father, aunt or grandmother. You need to let them know that your daughter having a relationship with her father is more important than how they feel about the situation.
Bottom line, this is a problem that should be dealt with between you and your ex-husband. No one else should have a say or be given the impression that they have a right to an opinion. If others tell you they will be upset you need to remind them that they have no legal or moral right to be upset when it comes to how you handle you and your ex deal with what is best for his and your daughter.
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