Divorcing the Negative

Children suffer when their parents engage in aggressive legal battles or when a parent tries to turn the children against their mother or father. When one parent behaves in a hurtful way, the other parent naturally seeks to retaliate. Then the first parent responds with additional abuse and the other parent feels the need to [...]

You can’t make me!

You can’t make me get upset, be sad, get angry, feel badly, be hurt, or anything else.  You can’t make me do something if I don’t choose to do it.  You can’t make me say something I’ll regret.  You can’t make me behave poorly, act out, fly off the handle, or storm off.  You can’t [...]

The Malignant Divorce: Children Rarely Benefit From An Angry Parent

“No food, no electricity, no childcare, no clothing, no heat and the children remembering Daddy throwing Mommy to the ground are all small things compared to the lying, promiscuity and adultery.” Cases like these are the cancer of divorce. Sometimes I think that the work of experts on divorce is really akin to oncologists who [...]

Friend or Foe? How Loved Ones Can Hold Us Back During Divorce

Submitted by: Tara Eisenhard I was lucky to have the support of my friends and family when I went through my divorce.  While I’m grateful, I also recognize how those closest to us can hold us back and prevent healthy closure. Upon hearing the news of my cheating husband and pending separation, a co-worker advised, “You’ll [...]

Is The Way You Process Data About Your Ex Keeping You From Having a “Successful Divorce?”

There is a human phenomenon psychologist’s call selective attention. Human beings have a natural tendency to pay attention only to data that supports their pre-existing point of view or desire. Information that contradicts their beliefs or wishes is filtered-out of their awareness. Obviously this practice can lead to severely distorted notions of people and events [...]

An Exercise in Forgiveness

Submitted by: Dawn Sinnott I was writing an e-workbook for a teleclass I was going to give on the topic of forgiveness.  As I always approach this type of writing project, I wrote down my thoughts about where I’ve been, how I moved forward and where I am now in regards to the topic.  Forgiveness [...]

Divorce Recovery: Are You Hanging on to Anger?

Submitted by: Joni James There has to be a point where everyone finds neutrality around the events of divorce. We can’t move ahead without letting go of our past, clearing the way for better things to come into our lives. There are many ways to hold on: longing, depression, actively seeking attention. Other ways of [...]

Divorce Recovery: Moving on And Letting Go

Submitted by: Shelley Stile The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorce discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept what [...]

Ask the Divorce Coach: Ex Wife’s Boyfriend Too Involved With Children

Question: My question relates to my Ex’s boyfriend. After a rough separation/ Divorce (her idea -  final in 8/10; married for 12 yrs), she has been dating a guy for a few months and against my wishes -introduced him to our 2 Sons ( 6,and 11) in October. Anything I say falls on deaf ears [...]

Divorce Recovery: Beware Expectations

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actually works and are based on the [...]

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