Living Alone and Becoming “Set in Our Ways” After Divorce

Submitted by Delaine
 
I’ve always believed it’s healthier to stay single for awhile after divorce verses throwing ourselves into another serious relationship; divorce is a huge life transition and requires time to process.
 
But while lunching with some girlfriends this past weekend, Hali, my best friend warned: “I think people have to be careful not to get [...]

Divorce Recovery: Beware Expectations

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile
In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actually works and are based on the phrase, [...]

Recovering from Divorce: Honoring the Truth

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile
Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the new found freedom to gain clarity, discover [...]

Divorce Recovery: Acceptance Of What Was and What Is

Submitted By Divorce Coach Shelley Stile
The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorce discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept [...]

Was Your Divorce A Means To Heal Old Baggage?

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile
Here’s a fascinating take on divorce that I find more true than not:  We choose our spouses, usually subconsciously, as a means to healing old emotional wounds we have been carrying around our entire life.
Our divorce then becomes the wakeup call to clean up that mental baggage we have [...]

The Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

Submitted by: Malou
I have been living a life short of a fairy tale until that fateful day last year. A job, a wonderful husband, a delightful daughter, a big house complete with a garden, a whole room dedicated just for my clothes and shoes….I was a princess!! The only thing missing was a dog and [...]

Redo and Reclaim The Master Bedroom – Why & How

Submitted by Delaine
Within months of separating from my ex two years ago, I suddenly felt an incredible need to redecorate the master bedroom.   I’m not sure if I did it more as a mental distraction at the time, or if some unconscious part of me knew I needed  to ‘get him out of there” and make a [...]

Understanding the Pain and Rejection of Infidelity

Submitted by: Erica Manfred
Women who have been left for another woman describe the experience in extreme terms:  Stella, sixty-two, whose husband left her for someone else after thirty-three years of marriage was typical:  “ I cried every day for two months.  I still cry two years later.  And railed and screamed in the car and [...]

Forgiving Yourself

Submitted by: Erica Manfred
If you’re overwhelmed with self-blame here’s a great quote from Bonnie Russell, the founder of www.FamilyLawCourts.com.
She says:
I’ve found women, especially therapists and other helping professionals,, have trouble forgiving themselves.  They constantly berate themselves with:   “I should have seen it, known it, realized it,”  followed by “I wasted (fill in the blank)  years.”

I [...]

Fostering Happiness in a Time of Adversity

Submitted by: Maya
When my marriage ended, it felt like the end of the world to me.  I had wanted out for a very long time but I assumed that it would be a dignified process, normal squabbles, but he and I had a friendship behind us and we both wanted the same thing.  It should [...]

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