Resentment: Molten Lava In One’s Bones

Submitted by Delaine Moore At three and a half years into my divorce, I no longer feel like I’m mourning my marriage.  The grief, the fear, the heartache of betrayal  - they lie behind me now, serving as sources of strength and wisdom, not pain.  But getting over my marriage is one thing, getting over my ex’s behavior during [...]

The Emotional Stages of Divorce

My divorce caught me off guard. I had no time to plan my emotional response and being the planner I am, I found this a bit disconcerting. Actually I was highly pissed. Want to set my world a twirl? Pull the rug out from under it! I had studied Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in college. I knew [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach: Wanting to write a letter to the in-laws

Question: Dear Shelley, I feel a great need and desire to write a letter to my ex’s family. We were married for 27 years and they were my family for longer than that.  My ex-husband had an affair and left my 16-year-old son and I. We have both remarried but my ex has no relationship [...]

Letter to my Exes: Becoming Clearer About What I Do Want in a Relationship

Submitted by: Sydney Tyler Thomas Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to share good news. I have a friend who insists on setting me up each time we get together. I made the mistake once of telling her about how painfully my last relationship ended and in doing so, I opened a door that I haven’t [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach: Conflicting Feelings

Question: Dear Shelley, I have been separated since May and find myself on a roller coaster of emotions every day. I have far too much contact with my ex (my choice) and it pains me to see him happy. I was blindsided with the separation and love him dearly. I know I am being destructive [...]

Living Alone and Becoming “Set in Our Ways” After Divorce

Submitted by Delaine I’ve always believed it’s healthier to stay single for awhile after divorce verses throwing ourselves into another serious relationship; divorce is a huge life transition and requires time to process. But while lunching with some girlfriends this past weekend, Hali, my best friend warned: “I think people have to be careful not [...]

The Reward For “Letting Go” Is Freedom

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to [...]

Recovering from Divorce: Honoring the Truth

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the new found freedom to gain clarity, [...]

Was Your Divorce A Means To Heal Old Baggage?

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile Here’s a fascinating take on divorce that I find more true than not:  We choose our spouses, usually subconsciously, as a means to healing old emotional wounds we have been carrying around our entire life. Our divorce then becomes the wakeup call to clean up that mental baggage we [...]

The Transformational Power of Emotional Pain

Submitted by: Malou I have been living a life short of a fairy tale until that fateful day last year. A job, a wonderful husband, a delightful daughter, a big house complete with a garden, a whole room dedicated just for my clothes and shoes….I was a princess!! The only thing missing was a dog [...]

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