My Divorce Journal – Step One

Last week things were pleasant and I hoped that they would continue.  This week I’m beginning to answer questions with the help of Al-Anon’s 12 Step recovery program. Then – 3/2/2004 “Journal question – Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking?  Another person’s behavior? I do accept that I cannot control ‘Carl’s’ [...]

You can’t make me!

You can’t make me get upset, be sad, get angry, feel badly, be hurt, or anything else.  You can’t make me do something if I don’t choose to do it.  You can’t make me say something I’ll regret.  You can’t make me behave poorly, act out, fly off the handle, or storm off.  You can’t [...]

Insanity: Or How Crazy You Feel When Someone Else Defines You

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting to get a different result.  I always liked that saying because it rang true to me.  So many of us do this, even though it’s illogical. But last night I heard an even [...]

Think Before You Speak: Parental Alienation-One Woman’s View

Submitted by: Big Little Wolf Parental alienation seems to be the rallying cry these days – for those divorcing or divorced. What is it, exactly? And why should we all be concerned about it? Let me be clear. I’m not an attorney and I’m not a therapist. But I am a long-term single parent who [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach: Should I tell my kids what he’s REALLY like?

Question: Dear Shelley, A few years ago I found out my husband was talking to women online, meeting up with them in hotel rooms at night, and getting drunk. I have been a very good mom and wife and have tried to live a Christian life in spite of him lying to our children and his secretive plans to [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach:My wife abused me yet I can’t let go

Question: Hi Shelley, My wife and I have separated.  I don’t understand why I’m finding it so difficult to let go of the marriage cause she was both physically and emotionally abusive towards me.  Why do I keep making excuses for her?  Why do I blame myself for that abuse?  I have met someone really [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach: “I Allowed His Verbal Abuse”

Question: Dear Shelley: I got divorced on September 11, 2009.   I allowed this man to verbally abuse me throughout our marriage.  Moreover, he didn’t even talk to my daughter and grandchildren for 10 years.  I couldn’t wash his clothes good enough, wash dishes good enough, nor cook right.  I found out too late he treated [...]

How to Leave an Abusive Husband

Planning your escape from an abusive husband. Every first step begins with a plan. If you’ve spent time in an abusive relationship getting out means planning for your escape; where you will live, your financial future. While putting your plan together follow the rules below. Keep yourself safe until you can get out of the [...]

Physical Abuse Checklist: Are You in a Physically Abusive Relationship?

What is physical abuse? Physical abuse leaves behind bruises and broken bones, while emotional abuse kills the self esteem of the victim. Physical abuse is a situation where the husband beats the wife for little or no reason. Are you subjected to any of the below signs of physical abuse? Pushes, grabs or shoves you [...]

Emotional Abuse Checklist: Are You Being Emotionally Abused?

What is emotional abuse? There is no universally accepted definition of emotional abuse. Like other forms of violence in relationships, emotional abuse is based on power and control. The following are widely recognized as forms of emotional abuse: Your spouse… Frequently blames or criticizes you Calls you names Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race class or [...]

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