House Hunting for the Blended Family

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
Budget
Discuss with your future spouse the ideal budget for a new home.  Make sure you choose a range that you can afford.  Try to keep your house payments to 25% of your income (33% at the very most.)  You may have two houses that need selling.  Make sure at least one [...]

Grandparent’s Golden Rules for Blended and Step Families

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
You and your new love have decided to blend your families.  Now it’s time to help your Mom and Dad with some tips on how to respond to your newly blended family.
1- Treat all children the equally and fairly
Treat your step grandkids as if they were all your biological grandchildren.  They [...]

Blended Family Vacations – How to be Successful

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
You and your new spouse/boyfriend are wondering what to do about a vacation… 
Do you have the fantastic idea of taking your newly blended family on a three-week car ride all around the United States?
Uh oh… maybe you haven’t thought this through.                       
Your spouse/boyfriend is asking if maybe we should just take separate [...]

Top Ten Signs You Have A Successful Blended Family

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
1- You and your spouse have clear house rules that apply to all blended family members
Yes, this means that house rules don’t change when you are tired, or your spouse is out of town.  Both biological children and stepchildren all follow the same rules.  It really does help when the parents [...]

Turning The Kids Against The Ex

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
When parents get divorced, sometimes the divorce is less than amiable.  Parents may carry resentment and anger.  Unfortunately, sometimes those negative thoughts are communicated to our children.
I regularly hear from stepfamilies that have been told by their children that Mom (or Dad) doesn’t love them anymore or that their new [...]

Discipline In The Blended Family

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
Frequently, people ask me if their disciplinary methods should be different in a blended family.  Your kids have been through the separation of their parents…then a divorce…and now a new marriage/cohabilation arrangement that comes with a blended family.  You wonder, shouldn’t I just give my kids a break and loosen up on [...]

Why Did My Dad (or Mom) Remarry and Get a Step Family?

Submitted by Shirley Cress Dudley
It’s tough for kids to understand why parents get divorced, and even harder to understand why they remarry and have a blended or step family.  Here are some talking points for you to discuss this difficult topic with your kids.  You may need to revise some of the answers, based on [...]

Surviving the First 90 Days in a Blended Family

Submitted by professional counselor, Shirley Cress Dudley
No Less Love
Remind everyone, at least daily, that there is no less love in a blended family. Everyone who was a valued family member before the “merge” is still a valued family member. Each loved member of the family is still loved. A blended family provides the opportunity for [...]

Happy Relationship, Happy Kids?

Submitted by Delaine
Couples need to focus on each other more and their kids less, according to family coach and author David Code.  Not only will their kids be happier and healthier for it, so will their marriages/relationships.  And I’m taking notes:  cause when I was married, I admit I sometimes put being a great parent ahead of being a great [...]

Would You Consider Having Another Child With Your New Partner?

Submitted by Delaine

I gave birth to three kids in three years and I can honestly say their early years were a blur to me; life was INSANE.  And since divorcing I’ve sworn I wouldn’t have another child.  “This body now belongs to ME,” I’ve joked with my girlfriends. 
The other day, however, a girlfriend asked me, [...]