How to look good naked

It seems looking good naked is on everyone’s mind after these days.

There is an excellent post over at Big Little Wolf’s Daily Plate of Crazy about physical appearance vs. feeling good. She brings up a number of great talking points on the topic of body image issues, being a slave to the scale and our self-esteem and how it connects to our physical appearance.

We often say that our self concept shouldn’t be based on whether we look good naked but, for so many of us, it is.  I maintain that for many of us, how we look naked matters a great deal because how we care for our bodies is often indicative of deeper feelings we have toward ourselves and our value as individuals.  If we want that to change then how we go about changing our physical appearance is the first step in beginning to care about and for ourselves.

Lose the Scale

Being an ex-competitive swimmer, swim coach and cyclist, and ex-aerobics and fitness trainer, I know how ineffective the scale is and how it can really work against one’s efforts at getting healthy. One’s weight can fluctuate a pound or two every day and even more for some women, depending on the time of the month.  In addition, if you are enslaved to the number on the scale, but you are truly about percent body fat rather than weight you might get to a place in your fitness regimen where you actually begin to gain weight while continuing to lose inches.

Those who absolutely use the scale as the sole measuring device in their quest to look good naked run the risk of ignoring some better health indicators. They can become easily discouraged and frustrated.  This is counterproductive to the person who really has the goal in mind of becoming a healthier, more physically fit individual.

Percent of Body Fat is A Better Indicator of Fitness

I prefer to consider percent body fat or Body Mass Index and inches lost when I work on improving my fitness level (because muscle weighs more than fat and building muscle eats fat).  One can be a size 3 and still be very fat.  I don’t want that for me.  I want the toned look and you can’t get that by merely losing weight on a scale you must transfer fat to muscle somehow.  If you are seriously overweight or out of shape or have never really done any serious training, please do two things:

First, get a physical and a physician’s okay before you begin any exercise program.  Even if you are relatively good health, this is always a smart move.

Second, seriously consider investing in a personal trainer who will meet with you for an hour once ever two weeks for, at least, the first eight weeks of your program.  Even two sessions with a personal trainer can be incredibly valuable in helping you jump-start your motivation and your journey back to fitness.

Toward A Healthier Lifestyle…A Personal Journey

While I know a great deal about the right things to do and the right ways to think about my body, its appearance and its health, I like many, many others have become negligent over the last decade. Sure there have been periods of good fitness, but I haven’t really stuck with them.  Of course, I have to cut myself some slack.  I’ve endured a pretty volatile decade personally, have been homeless and battled an emotionally abusive ex.  When survival is priority one, looking good naked gets much lower priority.  Even so, I’ve let go of some really great eating habits, stopped the consistent exercise and weight training program I had going and simply shifted my fitness priorities to the bottom of the list.

I don’t look horrible, but I really don’t look my best.  More importantly and more significantly, I don’t feel my best. I find that it is when I don’t feel my best that I am most prone to worrying about my appearance, suffering a loss of confidence and self-esteem and I’m especially prone to really stupid questions like “How hot am I, really?”  I hate being in that place mentally and physically.

Big Little Wolf’s post, my own personal journey to date, and experiences like these are crystallizing for me a sense of direction as I consider my own health and levels of fitness.  Note that I did not say weight loss program.  Because for me, though weight loss will inevitably be an outcome I hope to accomplish,, I am not venturing down this road with that goal in mind. In my post, two days ago, I spoke of moving toward a healthier lifestyle.  It’s true, I want to look good naked because that mirror in my bathroom is not exactly gentle in revealing the truth about my physical appearance, but I most certainly and more importantly want to feel good all of the time, not just naked.

I don’t just want to get smaller, I want to get better.  And better, might not necessarily weigh that much less, but it will look better naked.  It will walk further and faster.  It will not get winded. And, since I am the one looking at myself in the mirror, groaning daily with disappointment in myself about the extra pounds I’ve packed on and the muscle tone I’ve lost, and feeling disappointed with what I see (because the disappointment represents not beauty or lack thereof, but a deeper sense of loss) then looking good naked becomes important to no one…else…but me.  I’m the only one that matters.  It is indeed a deeply personal journey, but one with very visible results.

Getting Comfortable

But there is something even more significant at play here for me.  It is that idea of feeling comfortable in my own skin.  It is that idea that it is what it is and it is the best I can do so who cares what anyone else thinks.  Now, realistically I know, I should feel this way no matter what I weigh or what my muscle tone is, but the reality is, this is not the case for me.  Because the big reality is this, our fitness levels largely determine how we feel inside our own skin.

Our fitness levels often determine whether or not we look and perform at optimum levels.  All of those things conspire to impact our self-image and our confidence in our abilities in other areas. True, self-acceptance no matter what is important.  I’m not suggesting we all have to be stellar examples of fitness and brawn, but when our ability to function at our best each day is implicated, then I suggest that’s the time to really rethink our health and our habits.  Feeling comfortable in our own skin is more about doing the best we can with what we’ve got under the circumstances and I, for one, am not doing the best I can right now.  Not even close.  This bothers me.  It bothers me enough to make a change.  For me, it’s what 2010 is going to be about.

Starting Measurements…The First Steps

So, yes, yesterday, I pulled out the tape measure, hopped on the scale and took the front-back-side before pictures in my bikini.  Not because I intend to obsess over every little thing I eat or don’t eat.  Not because I intend to go on a crash starvation diet or crazy workout plan to burn that fat fast.  I’m smarter than that.  And, though I know my body will quickly respond to increased exercise and improved diet due to its past fitness, the reason I am doing it is not to get skinny…it is to change my lifestyle.

It is to change my thinking.  It is to become comfortable in my own skin. Taking the measurements now, before I’ve really begun will help me gauge my progress and will motivate me to keep going.  It gives me a starting point.

Fitness is About Character Development and Personal Growth

While this is about looking good naked on one level, it is also about so much more than looking good naked because whenever one begins a journey of this nature there are mental challenges that must be faced and obstacles that must be overcome.  I’d like to suggest that the journey toward improved health for me will be less a journey of fitness than a supreme course in character development.

I will need to test my commitment.  I will be forced to persevere.  I will need to focus and stay focused and that, because I am so easily distracted, will be challenge enough. I will need to flex and adapt to a schedule that changes dramatically twice a year while still keeping up my regimen of good eating and daily activity.

I will need to make some hard choices that won’t be pleasant or instantaneously gratifying (like that second glass of wine or that extra helping of pasta or saying no when I’m just not hungry) if I am to move myself into a place that bodes well for the health and longevity of this physical thing I call my body, not to mention the mind and spirit that it contains.  It won’t “feel” good sometimes at first, at others it will feel better than anything.  It will require me to flex my discipline muscles, tone my determination, and exercise my mental fortitude and push my commitment to my own improvement to the limits.

But that’s the cost for every one who would accomplish anything of value.

©The Wild Mind

My blog, Random Musings of the Wild Mind, is my attempt to force myself to overcome the fear of rejection, of criticism, and of being vulnerable and taking risks.  It is my writing practice. It is my writing playground. It is my place where hopefully the world, or even a portion of it, (maybe you?) will hear that life is something to be enjoyed courageously, that mistakes are avenues to growth and are not life threatening and that respect and love are always something worth working toward.

Call it empathy, call it patriotism, heck, call it living vicariously - but as I’ve watched these amazing athletes give it their all, I’ve been moved and inspired to want to feel more, dream more, do more, become more within my own life.

Moreover, I have been humbled – for I see how I’ve let adversity and excuses slow down my life. When I imagine the years of training these athletes underwent,  how some of them even overcame serious physical injuries and personal life challenges in order to be there, I realize I haven’t always shown as much strength and courage as I know I’m capable of.

This is the first Winter Olympics my young children have watched.  And their excitement and absolute awe at what the athletes are capable of doing has made me see the Games with heightenend awareness.  I feel like they’re getting a mass tutorial on life as they witness the competitors’ ups, downs, and in betweens, and the underlying messages around passion, hard work, and a dream.

Sure, you could focus on all the ’bad stuff’ that has transpired at the Games thus far: from some athletes’  failures and the violent protesters in the streets, to the column glitch in the Opening Ceremonies.  Similarly, wherever we are in our divorces, we can easily find reason to criticise, be sad, mad and self-justifiably, stay that way.

But by daring us to step outside our boxed-in, stressed-out lives and merge with an energy and mass consciousness much greater than ourselves,we are reminded that we all carry the torch of  something divine and powerful within us.  And even if it’s only for a few weeks, I think the Games call to us all to burn bright…and have hope.

Delaine www.iamdivorcednotdead.com

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My life over the last few months has been about work…making Divorced Women Online the best I knew it could be. Then there is the elderly parent and the teenage son. They don’t take a lot of time but they do deplete emotional energy which leaves less motivation to get up and get busy with a regular exercise routine.

I’ve also had some health issues that caused fatigue and pain. Instead of working through the pain I’ve chosen to allow the pain to take control. Not my normal nature but hey, life throws us curve balls at times and we deal as best we can.

I noticed over the weekend that I’m doing some emotional eating. A twinge of anxiety found me standing in front of an open refrigerator. A hint if the doldrums and the pantry door flew open. I was filling all the empty places with food…food that was quick and easy. Food that leaves it mark on my hips, thighs and waistline and psyche.

I should seriously consider buying sweatpants that read “Oreos” across the seat. Either that or get up and get moving which I think is the better option.

The problem for those of us who are hoping to get back into a fitness routine after a fitness break is going from contemplation to action. I’m in a contemplating frame of mind and I’m finding my greatest hurdle to be getting up and getting going.

I want to go back to this time last year. I weighed 20 pounds less and put taking care of myself physically and emotionally on the top of my list of things to do. Today my fitness life is defined by inertia. If you are feeling that same inertia below are a few tips to help you get up and get moving.

How to go from inactive to active:

Contemplation: All good things start with a thought. If you are like me they way back is to first contemplate but not for too long. And no negative contemplation. The only way to get up off the couch and get going is to talk yourself into a regular exercise routine, not talk yourself out of one.

Preparation: Being prepared, for me at least means deciding on what activity I will enjoy and will fit into my schedule. I know from experience that working out in the evenings better suits me and my lifestyle. So, it will be power walks around the neighborhood and 30 minutes on the treadmill. I also know that if I don’t do it nightly it won’t become a regular part of my routine.

The key is to not push yourself into doing something your aren’t going to enjoy. Find that perfect activity that is going to give you the benefits you are looking for and keep you motivated to make it a regular routine.

Take Action: This is the hard part…get up and get going! No moving back into the contemplate stage. The time for thinking about it is past. The reality is, it should only take a few months at most to get back to a good level of fitness. Think of it this way, time is going to pass whether you get active or not. How you feel in a few short months depends on how active you become today.

Slow and steady wins the race, so if you’re coming back to exercise after a break, don’t push yourself to get right back up to your old fitness level too soon. Little and often is a good way to start; getting out for moderate exercise twenty minutes every day is better than mammoth sessions with many days in between, and daily exercise can help with the psychological aspects of forming a good workout habit. If you’ve been putting off starting, there’s no time like the present! The sooner you get moving, the easier it will be.

• Have you been on a fitness break?
• What were the circumstances that lead to your break?
• What is your action plan?

It happened about a month ago.  I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror in a towel and for whatever reason, I held my left arm out to the side.  And that’s when I saw it: movement.  More movement.  Even MORE movement: my tricep was swaying back and forth like laundry blowing on the clothes line.

Immediately I zoomed in for anaylsis.  Had I imagined it?  Was there more fat there than last month?  Hang on – had gravity been sneakily taking its toll on my breasts too?  I opened my towel and had a good peer.  Hmmm.  Maybe yes, maybe no.  I pulled my shoulders back and stood extra tall.  Kay, still half-perky.  But the alarm had been triggered: I needed to start exercising again PRONTO.

Over the past couple of years since divorcing, exercise has taken a backseat in my life.  Between working, caring for my  three young kids, and piecing my heart back together, I just haven’t made it the priority it was previously; I’ve always enjoyed exercising – or at least, how it made me feel afterwards: FIRM!

Now I find myself wanting to exercise like mad but I’ve no time or extra money to go to a gym or join a sports team.  As  result, I’m trying to find creative ways of incorporating cardiovascular and strength training into my day-to-day life.  I’m wondering if anyone else has found herself in similar shoes and what she’s doing to either improve or maintain what she’s got…? 

Here’re some of the ways I’ve started exercising on the fly:

1) Whenever I sit down for long periods of time, I clench my gluteals and hamstrings. 

2) I do numerous sets of squats throughout my day – while I do dishes, before sitting down at my desk, even between loads of laundry.

3)  I run up and down the basement stairs instead of walk.

4) I jog over to the school to pick up my kids at lunch or after school instead of walk.  Sometimes I’ll walk a lap of the school’s field before the bell rings.

5) I make sure I do three sets of pushups at some point during the day.

6)  I don’t just watch my kids play soccer or kickball, I join in.

7) When I take my kids to a family swim, the rules are that I have to have my youngest within arm’s reach at all times (she’s five).  So I do the next best thing to swimming lengths: I tread water while she plays!  I’ll also act swim with her on top of me (I’m the  ‘seahorse’, she’s the mermaid), or take her for ‘boat rides’ on flutter boards so my legs get a good kicking work out.

Though I’m not one to do the home exercise video thing, I finally caved and ordered one online called Core Rythms.  It’s Latin dance aerobics with a focus on leaning out the abdominal muscles.  Though there are four videos in the package, I only ordered it for the 20-minute quick workout; fast and fun.  I figure my daughter and I can do it together in the morning when the boys are in school.  I should mention I bought this video on e-bay for $19.00 US (including shipping here to Canada) instead of paying the $60 + they charge for it on their site.  I’ll let you know how that goes!

These are but a few ways I’m cramming exercsie into my day.  Again, if you’ve any ideas or recommendations of your own, I’m all ears!

Delaine – www.iamdivorcednotdead.com

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