Submitted by guest writer, Jewel R.

This past February marked the four-year anniversary of my divorce.  It also marked my 42nd birthday.  But even though I’d made tremendous strides since divorcing, even though I felt happier and more confident than I had in years,  when I looked in the mirror all I could think was,  ‘blah.’  My skin looked tired, blotchy, and wrinkley; my face didn’t properly match the Inner Me. So I decided to buy myself a gift:  a Pearl Laser Treatment.

What sold me on trying this particular procedure (which basically zaps off the top layer of one’s epidermis) was:

a)  it yielded significant results: ie, it evened out skin tone, reduced fine lines, helped erase sun damage, and gave the overall face a ’lift’ from renewed collagen production

b)  it didn’t involve surgery or too much pain (so I’d heard through a friend)

c) it only required about 4 days of ‘social’ downtown.

Day 1, Treatment Day, 9:30 a.m.

An hour before the procedure, a nurse gave me some pain killers (advil) and applied a topical anesthetic to my face.  Good and numb, I then proceeded to have the laser treatment which took about 30 minutes.  How would I rank the pain?  I’d have to say about a 6 out of ten – ten being the most painful.  I found some parts of my face hurt more than than others – ie, along my hairline, my forehead and my upper lip.  Moreover, after a facial part was treated, there was no denying the slight ‘burning’ sensation that remained in the wake.  The smell of burning skin took a bit of adjusting to as well.

The doctor then covered my face with a protective balm and handed me a mirror.  I basically looked like I had a bad sunburn and had covered my face with vaseline.  I headed out of the clinic wearing a large-brimmed hat to protect me from sun exposure and carrying a skincare case of goodies I was to apply over the next few days.

Later in the Day, Day 1

Though I wasn’t in excrutiating pain by any means, I felt like my face had been severely sunburned.   I was, however, able to find some relief by using the cleanser, oxygen spray and protective balm in my aftercare package and by covering my face with a cold facecloth.  Just after dinner, I could tell I had a fever and was getting the chills.  I decided to block it all out…and went to bed early.

Day 2

Not a particaurly comfy sleep but managable; I didn’t want to lie on my side and press my hot, goopey cheek onto the pillow.  My first glance in the mirror was rather shocking – my face looked crusty and swollen, particularly under my eyes.  My skin, though still reddish, wasn’t as bright red; it had darkened and was hardening as if it were forming a scab.  Up close I could see a honeycomb pattern emerging across my cheeks.  I looked pretty damn scary!  But I felt fine.  I spent the rest of the day hiding in my house.

Day 3

Besides another uncomfortable night’s sleep, I felt totally fine today.  A new itchiness on my face started up in the late afternoon.  But that’s because I’d started peeling.  I kept washing my face with the kit they’d given me cause the doctor had said that would help.  I got the first stirrings of excitement:  the skin underneath, though pretty pink, was as fresh and smooth as that of a baby.

Day 4

I felt like a reptile with all the skin slothing off my face.  But most, if not all of it, came off today. Yes the shedding process was itchy as all hell.  But I was ecstatic with what I saw:  the lines around my eyes were hardly visible and the texture of my skin was smooth and soft.  No more blotchiness either – everything was the same glowing shade of pink.

One Week Later

Though I continued to peel here and there all week and my skin was still more pinkish than normal, I was thrilled with my results.  In addition to the reduced wrinkles around my eyes and evened-out skin tone, the once-giant pores on my cheeks had shrunk to the size of pin-pricks.  A small scar that once grazed the top of my right eye-brow had seemingly diappeared.  I became rather paranoid about sun exposure though cause my new skin will darken and damage easily if I don’t meticulously wear an SPF 30 moisturizer at all times.

One Month Later – Present Day

I feel and look fanastic!.  Countless friends and colleagues have commented on how beauitful my skin looks, some even asked if I’d started using a new makeup line or found myself a new, hot lover (blush!).  I feel younger, more glowing, and like my face now properly represents how I feel INSIDE. I recommend this procedure  with a five-star ranking and hope my sharing my experience is of use to other divorcing women out there; I wish I’d gifted myself with it sooner!

Jewel R. is a divorced single mom of two teenagers who lives in Canada.  She highly recommends you stock up on movies, books, and chocolate almonds for the downtime following this prcedure.

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Submitted by Me & My Evil Twin

Sitting in the medical spa waiting room, I flipped through a magazine without seeing a word.  My brain was wrought with worry:  what if it hurt?  What if I passed out? What if my face ended up looking so frozen, people referred to me as the Botox Queen?

The receptionist handed me a clipboard full of papers, jarring me out of my head.  ”You need to read through these,” she said sweetly.  “These are some of the complications you may experience.  Please make sure you sign every page at the bottom, then give it back to me.”

“Sure,” I said too brightly.   I quickly browsed through the list, horror stories from TV flashing through my head, then quickly scribbled out a few signatures before I lost my courage.

I always swore I’d never be one of ‘those’ women.  You know – the ones whose vanity was so great, they succumbed to getting needles in their face to paralyze their muscles.  The mere idea of the procedure shocked me.  Horrified me.  I even felt sorry for women who were that ‘desperate.’  I was going to grow old gracefully and love and accept every wrinkle…

Yet there I was, about to hand the future state of my facial muscles over to a stranger with a needle.  Had I lost my mind? you ask.  Well…kind of – I was going through a divorce.

I’d always had an ‘animated’ face.  A face that should have been in theatre.  My real emotions were always visible ‘somewhere’ in the plethora of lines and muscles across my skull.  By the time I hit thirty, my crowsfeet had become a source of  insecurity.  And sometimes I’d stare at other women my age with their eye sockets so creamy smooth, and long to see their reflection in the mirror, not mine.

My decision to try botox had arrived a few weeks earlier – while in this same medical spa, in fact.  I was having the veins on my legs injected, something I’d never done before either.  But two pregnancies with 50 lbs plus of weight gain during each had splattered purple spider veins all over my thighs.  It was at the end of this treatment when I heard the doctor say:  “Hun, have you ever considered doing botox?”

Immediately I looked down to hide both my eyes and feelings of insecurity.   My lines must be really bad if a doctor is actually recommending it, I thought.

“You have absolutely gorgeous eyes,” she continued.  “And I’m not trying to make you self-conscious.  But if you take care of them now, your lines will completely disappear in ten years.”  Suddenly, she grabbed a hand mirror and held it in front of my face.  She gently molded the skin around my eyes into a saggy, puffy pouch.   “If you don’t, this is what you’ll look like in ten years.  And as long as you’re OK with that, then that’s all that matters.”

But what I saw in that mirror haunted me thereafter.  I already felt tired and old from the stress and despair of my separation;  I didn’t want to LOOK old and exhausted, too.

“Lynn?”  I heard, looking up to see the doctor standing there with my file.  “Please come with me.”

I leaped up and followed her, grateful that she hadn’t announced to the waiting room, “Ready for your botox, Lynn?”

As soon as she shut the door, I started babbling like a wimp about how scared I was.  But she reassured me that my feelings were totally normal; that she’d only had one minor complication in seven years; that she even did her injections on herself; and that the entire treatment would seem like nothing compared to getting my leg veins injected.

“Smile for me, hun,” she said as she studied my face and dotted spots around my eyes with a marker.  Her body language was relaxed as she continued chatting with me and filled syringes over at the counter.  Then it was time.  She pinched my skin around my eyes and in went the needle.  I stiffened, felt a slight sting, then  heard, “How was that?  Not too bad eh?”

“Not bad at all,” I answered honestly.

Onward she went.  A few more injections strategically placed around my eyes…then, the same points were injected on my other eye.   “And we’re done!” she announced, walked back over to the counter.

“That’s it?”  I replied surprise apparent.  That was WAY too easy!

“Yup.  You’re gonna love your results Lynn, I just know it.  Just make sure you smile every five minutes for the next hour, and no exercising.  And no lying down for at least six hours, k?”

Later driving home, my face felt funny but not uncomfortable.  I smiled every two minutes instead of five, praying my body accepted the botox and didn’t start spazzing out on me somehow.  I knew I wouldn’t see full results for the next seven to ten days…but looking up in rear-view mirror, I already noticed that some lines weren’t activating.

I did love the results, just as the doctor had predicted.  In no way did I look  ‘frozen’ - I’d literally just stopped the deep canals from highlighting my eyes when I smiled.  I thought I looked younger than I had in five years…and in some wonderful way, my new look made me FEEL younger; a bit brighter too.

Of course botox can’t solve any of our life problems as we go through a divorce.  But as far as I’m concerned there’s something to be said for a confidence boost – a little gift for the New Me under Construction.

Me & My Evil Twin

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Below is a collection of Facial Yoga poses to try. Exercising your face muscles tightens, tones and, according to practitioners, combats aging. Annelise Hagen offers a gallery of some of the more intriguing poses.

As Mae West said, “You are never too old to become younger.” And if it is fun and almost as easy as puffy up my cheeks I’m all for it.

Free Your Tongue: It is recommended that you hold this pose for 60 seconds. It is good if your eyes water; that flushes the toxins that may have accumulated there.

Temple Dancer Eyes: This exercise works on the ring muscles of the eyes to prevent sagging skin and crow’s feet.

Surprise Me: Widen your eyes, as though surprised, but try not to wrinkle the brow. Focus on a point in front of you for about five to ten seconds. Then repeat, four times.

Smiling Fish Face: Smile while pursing your lips. This pose is modeled after the look celebrities often give the paparazzi.

Lion Face, Part I: Inhale through your nose, make fists and squeeze all your facial muscles…

Lion Face, Part II: Now exhale through your mouth, stick out your tongue, roll your eyes up and open your hands. Repeat three times.

Satchmo: Named for Louis Armstrong, this poses mimics the cheeks of a trumpet player.

Marilyn: The repetitive puckering and blowing creates stronger, firmer lips.

Baby Bird: Swallow while pressing the tip of the tongue to the roof of your mouth. Then tilt your head slightly to the left and swallow. Then repeat, towards the right. This exercise helps jowls from forming.

Buddha Face: Close your eyes, relax and imagine a point between the brows. Hold for one minute, or longer.

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File this under “sad but true”: The first signs of aging—crow’s-feet—show up earlier than we ever realized. In happier news, the right eye cream can make all the difference. It has been years since those first fines lines around the eyes or crows feet started showing on my face. Not being a fan of needles Botox was out of the question. Not being one with a lot if discretionary income I gave no thought at all to cosmetic surgery. No facelifts for the girl! I did however go on a quest for an eye cream that would slow down the signs of aging. Maybe even a cream that would reverse what I had come by honestly….crow’s feet, laugh lines, a furrowed brow.

I look back and realize there were a two things I did that caused the early appearance of crow’s feet.

• Exposure to the sun – as we know, the sun’s UV rays are the foremost damaging element on the skin. Prolonged exposure to the sun makes the skin lose its elasticity and firmness. As a young woman I was a sun worshiper. I lived on the Gulf Coast and took full advantage of any opporutnity to “soak up some rays.” Imagine the skin damage to a strawberry blonde!

• Squinting – this undesirable facial expression aggravates crows feet. I always had vision problems and enough vanity to get in the way of wearing proper eyewear. My early years were spent squinting and I’m paying now.

Avoiding these major wrinkle causing factors can spare you those lines around the eyes. At least for a few years. You may also seek relief from the best wrinkle creams on the market. Something I’ve been on a quest to find. Over the last decade I’ve tried dozens below are, in my opinion the best you can buy.

1. Garnier
This new roll-on is so hyped that it even has a waiting list. It’s easy to store in your handbag for last-minute fixes, and the cream is tinted, so acts a concealer while it gets to work. It is by far my favorite. Not only does it work to keep wrinkles away, it repairs wrinkles that have already formed. I LOVE this stuff but don’t tell anyone. The moment word is out, they will take it off the market!

2. Origins
Hide hangovers with ‘GinZing’, a perky cream containing ginseng for radiance and caffeine to give you a bit of a buzz. It’ll erase evidence of any late-night shenanigans.

3. Nivea Visage
Nivea’s Q10 co-enzyme has been busting saggy bums for over 10 years; the eye version is just as effective, reducing puffiness and soothing dry, sensitive skin.

4. Roc
French ladies are never wrong, and this best seller has quite a following on the Continent. Its simple, hydrating formula contains ‘silk pearl’ light reflectors for an immediate boost to tired skin.

5. Dermalogica
The cognoscenti’s skincare of choice, ‘Total Eye Care’ is up there with the Fountain of Youth. It tightens skin, reduces bags and puffiness, smooths lines and moisturises sore bits. Although meant for older skin, it’s also good for soothing dryness or irritation.

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