Redeem The World Until Your Heart Hurts!

If one is single or divorced, there is nothing else that she can think of but how to alter this situation. In the morning when she wakes up in her bed her first thought is that there is no one next to her. Then that she has to drink her morning coffee alone, then that [...]

It’s Passing Away Now…

I know that after a break-up or a divorce the heart can hurt to such a degree that that is unbearable! You don’t know what is up and what is down, you are just standing there blankly and staring after the departing partner… Then the unfamiliar, strange single hours, days and weeks come. At first [...]

Finding Inner Peace

“People are born for different tasks, but in order to survive everyone requires the same nourishment: inner peace.”  (Sri Sathya Sai Baba) Some avenues to inner peace include: Noticing your breath Meditating Walks in nature Quieting the mind Forgiving others and self Being gentle on yourself and many more not listed here. What exactly is [...]

You can’t make me!

You can’t make me get upset, be sad, get angry, feel badly, be hurt, or anything else.  You can’t make me do something if I don’t choose to do it.  You can’t make me say something I’ll regret.  You can’t make me behave poorly, act out, fly off the handle, or storm off.  You can’t [...]

My Divorce Journal – Don’t You Think You’re Being Dramatic?

Last week I felt like I was driving myself crazy with questions, imaginings and intuition. This week I’m being questioned about whether I’m being too dramatic. Then – 2/3/2004 “The other morning I was so upset because ‘Carl’ had been moping around talking about ‘no closeness’ and ‘Erin’ (my daughter) started to pick up on [...]

Make Up Your Mind: Take It or Leave It

When we come upon circumstances in our lives that we don’t find pleasing, there are several possible responses.  One is to complain about it (and this seems to be the most common response), a second is to accept the situation ‘as is’, and the third is to leave (to remove yourself from the situation altogether). [...]

Wrestling with Words

One of the most unexpected things about being divorced is how clumsy my tongue has become. I find certain words or phrases trip me up; words like “ex” or “divorced.” A friend of mine says he keeps stumbling over pronouns; struggling with me instead of we and mine instead of ours. At one time, my [...]

The Malignant Divorce: Children Rarely Benefit From An Angry Parent

“No food, no electricity, no childcare, no clothing, no heat and the children remembering Daddy throwing Mommy to the ground are all small things compared to the lying, promiscuity and adultery.” Cases like these are the cancer of divorce. Sometimes I think that the work of experts on divorce is really akin to oncologists who [...]

Being the “Dumper,” How Does the One Who Left Feel?

WARNING: If you have the personality of a “dumpee” or have recently been a “dumpee,” you may not want to read this post. While I  have complete sympathy for the pain you have suffered and the grief you are experiencing, this post is not for you. This is about the other side, and how we [...]

Insanity: Or How Crazy You Feel When Someone Else Defines You

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting to get a different result.  I always liked that saying because it rang true to me.  So many of us do this, even though it’s illogical. But last night I heard an even [...]

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