Bad Men Bring Us Gifts

Submitted by Delaine
 
Almost all women at some point in their lives attract a ‘bad man’; some of us marry him. And by ‘bad,’ I’m not simply referring to men who are drug lords, pimps, or wife abusers. No, “bad men” are men who don’ treat us and love us as wonderfully as we deserve. They [...]

Divorce Recovery: Acceptance Of What Was and What Is

Submitted By Divorce Coach Shelley Stile
The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorce discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept [...]

“I Grew Balls”: How One Wife Confronted The ‘Other Woman’ To Find The Truth

Submitted by Delaine
It wasn’t until ’she’ phoned in the middle of the night that Pam became suspicious.  The woman was obviously drunk, her voice a string of slurs.  And when Pam asked, “Who is this?”, all she got heard was “(Giggles) Just a friend…(click).”
The next day, Pam confronted her husband.  Completely taken off guard, he insisted they were “only [...]

With Time and Distance Comes a Calm Heart

Submitted by: Maya
I caught a glimpse of the ex the other day. We had to be in the same place and cordially stayed on opposite sides of the room. He always keeps his back to me when we are in these situations but I always sit facing him, daring him to look into [...]

You Can’t Rush Your Learning – Even When You’re Convinced You’re Ready

Submitted by Delaine
Over the past year, most of my divorcing friends have found new partners and seemingly established lovely new lives.  And I’ve  wondered:  Why is it taking longer for me? I mean, I crawled and slashed my way out of Rock Bottom, diligently performed my internal housekeeping, and grew and stretched spiritually in so many positive ways.  So why, in [...]

Learning The Art Of Solitude: Living Alone After Divorce

Submitted by: Erica Manfred
Here are some wonderful insights and advice on living alone from Florence Falk, Ph.D., psychotherapist and author of On My Own; The Art of Being a Woman Alone
You were divorced and alone, how did you manage to get through the initial period of intense loneliness?
First you must distinguish aloneness from loneliness.  We [...]

The Frog & The Scorpion: An Enlightening Fable For Those Divorcing

A Scorpion was travelling about through the world when he happened by a river.  Seeing a Frog close by he said, “Hey Frog, I need to get across this river.  How about if I jump on your back and you carry me across?”
The Frog vehemently shook her head: “NO WAY.  You’re a Scorpion! As soon as [...]

The Meaning of Life: Finding Purpose

Submitted by: Maya
I used to run around and believe that everyone else out there had a purpose, that they were more important than I, that their lives had more meaning. I was happy to be young and footloose and ~ yes, invisible ~ with no real concerns, no heavy burdens, able to skirt the shadows [...]

Children and Divorce: His, Mine and Ours

All along I felt that no matter what, these children were MINE.  I was a single parent in a marriage, he showed little interest in them aside from the pride that a father has in his sport-successful son, only he was she, our middle child and only daughter. 
She worked so hard for his approval, learning [...]

Turning an Unwanted Divorce Into an Opportunity

Submitted: Maya
I was reading Cathy’s advice to Mindy.  Mindy who is experiencing everything that we experience when it all falls apart.  I wanted to respond but it’s too long for just a comment…  here we go:
Mindy, this is a time like no other.  You are allowed to grieve, to be raging mad, to cry ~ [...]