Divorcing the Negative

Children suffer when their parents engage in aggressive legal battles or when a parent tries to turn the children against their mother or father. When one parent behaves in a hurtful way, the other parent naturally seeks to retaliate. Then the first parent responds with additional abuse and the other parent feels the need to [...]

My Divorce Journal – Step One

Last week things were pleasant and I hoped that they would continue.  This week I’m beginning to answer questions with the help of Al-Anon’s 12 Step recovery program. Then – 3/2/2004 “Journal question – Do I accept that I cannot control another person’s drinking?  Another person’s behavior? I do accept that I cannot control ‘Carl’s’ [...]

Round 3 of contemplating Divorce – Torn up inside!!

In the community Leanne left the following comment – please read and offer her your advice: Long story short: Married 6 together 10, 2 little girls (1 teen son from previous relationship), we are both in our early 30′s. Things, upon reflecting back over the years, were never really that great between us. My husband [...]

Finding Inner Peace

“People are born for different tasks, but in order to survive everyone requires the same nourishment: inner peace.”  (Sri Sathya Sai Baba) Some avenues to inner peace include: Noticing your breath Meditating Walks in nature Quieting the mind Forgiving others and self Being gentle on yourself and many more not listed here. What exactly is [...]

You can’t make me!

You can’t make me get upset, be sad, get angry, feel badly, be hurt, or anything else.  You can’t make me do something if I don’t choose to do it.  You can’t make me say something I’ll regret.  You can’t make me behave poorly, act out, fly off the handle, or storm off.  You can’t [...]

Avoid This Mistake In Divorce Proceedings – The Abuse Of Orders of Protection

Orders of Protection are critical to the safety of many. Some people claim that they are simply pieces of paper that mean nothing. Detractors point to horrible stories where people are abused or murdered despite having an order in place. I disagree–although we only hear of the tragic endings, orders of protection carry an authority [...]

Cohabitation Agreements More Important Than Ever

Many couples today decline marriage but what happens when financially lopsided couples who decline the protections of marriage, break up? Wealthy individuals or those who anticipate large inheritances may want to protect their assets. Likewise, those who enter into a relationship and sacrifice time and effort in supporting it in non-financial ways will want to [...]

Make Up Your Mind: Take It or Leave It

When we come upon circumstances in our lives that we don’t find pleasing, there are several possible responses.  One is to complain about it (and this seems to be the most common response), a second is to accept the situation ‘as is’, and the third is to leave (to remove yourself from the situation altogether). [...]

Wrestling with Words

One of the most unexpected things about being divorced is how clumsy my tongue has become. I find certain words or phrases trip me up; words like “ex” or “divorced.” A friend of mine says he keeps stumbling over pronouns; struggling with me instead of we and mine instead of ours. At one time, my [...]

The Malignant Divorce: Children Rarely Benefit From An Angry Parent

“No food, no electricity, no childcare, no clothing, no heat and the children remembering Daddy throwing Mommy to the ground are all small things compared to the lying, promiscuity and adultery.” Cases like these are the cancer of divorce. Sometimes I think that the work of experts on divorce is really akin to oncologists who [...]

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