Self-Help: Helpful to Some, Offensive to Others

Submitted by: Erica Manfred My book, He’s History; You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After Forty, is a very candid account of my marriage and how it ended. An Amazon reader gave me a review which took issue with my telling the truth about my husband “without providing him a forum to defend himself” because she thought [...]

The Wheel of Karma or What Goes Around Comes Around

Submitted By: Erica Manfred  I have not only been the betrayed wife but the other woman.  I know how it feels to be in both positions.  No matter what they say, being the other woman was a hell of a lot easier.  Or maybe I was just younger then.   In college my boyfriend was married [...]

LONELY IS NOT A FOUR-LETTER WORD

Submitted by Erica Last week I went for the second time this summer to a spiritual retreat in Lily Dale, New York.  Lily Dale is a rather unique spot.     It’s a tiny little village in western New York, near Buffalo, with small gingerbread Victorian and clapboard cottages all crowded together, most with luxuriant gardens. Lily [...]

My Regret About Marrying The Wrong Man

Submitted by Erica Manfred It took me more than twenty years to figure out why I never left my husband and I’m still struggling with  regret about marrying him in the first place.    After he dumped me,  I wished many times I’d been widowed instead of left for a younger woman.   When your husband dies, [...]

Mmiracle of Miracles…A Civil Conversation With my Ex

Submitted by: Erica   I actually had a cordial conversation with my ex last week.   It took 7 years, a big crisis, and my daughter’s therapist being away for the summer for it to happen.  Here’s some background.   I’m 66 and my adopted daughter is 11, my ex husband is 14 years younger than me.   [...]

Midlife Divorce: Housing Options For Older Divorced Women

Submitted by: Erica Divorcées who sink try desperately to maintain their old lifestyle because radical change is too frightening. Divorcées who swim plunge into new ways of living. Are you reading to take the plunge? My favorite example is from Calling It Quits: Late Life Divorce and Starting Over by Deirdre Bair. She interviewed a [...]

Alimony…Should he Pay if he Trades in the Old Model After 30 or 40 Years of Marriage?

Submitted by: Erica I recently saw Terry Hekker on the Today Show and was struck by her story. Terry, now in her sixties, was a traditional housewife during the 70s and 80s.  She even wrote a book, Ever Since Adam and Eve at the end of the 1970s extolling the virtues of staying home and [...]

Cheating Husband: Would You Tell Your Children About Your Husband’s Affair?

Submitted by: Erica Manfred I spoke at a divorce support group last night and heard some interesting stories about adult children of divorce.   One woman’s ex told her 19-year-old son that he was about to divorce her before he told her. Actually he asked his son whether he thought it was a good idea.  I [...]

Lipstick on his Collar, Hatred in his Heart: He Cheated So Why is he so Angry?

Submitted by: Erica Manfred Have you been wondering why the man who cheated on you is also so furious with you?  Where does he get off blaming you when he was the one who cheated?   When my ex told me he was leaving I kept asking him why he was so angry with me, what [...]

Dating, Sex and the Older Woman

Submitted by: Erica Manfred I was interviewed for a radio show today, by Kacey on WHUD.com in the Hudson Valley.  Kacey asked me about dating because I’d been very upbeat about it in my book.   I had to admit the truth, I’ve stopped dating.  I’m 66 and I feel like I’ve aged out of the [...]

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