Divorcing the Negative

Children suffer when their parents engage in aggressive legal battles or when a parent tries to turn the children against their mother or father. When one parent behaves in a hurtful way, the other parent naturally seeks to retaliate. Then the first parent responds with additional abuse and the other parent feels the need to [...]

The Malignant Divorce: Children Rarely Benefit From An Angry Parent

“No food, no electricity, no childcare, no clothing, no heat and the children remembering Daddy throwing Mommy to the ground are all small things compared to the lying, promiscuity and adultery.” Cases like these are the cancer of divorce. Sometimes I think that the work of experts on divorce is really akin to oncologists who [...]

Children and Divorce: How Much Truth is Too Much Truth?

Truth is a great value, but it is not the only value by which we live. When it comes to kids, their health and well-being trumps everything else. We bring them into the world fresh and innocent. If you’re going through a divorce, your children were probably born into an intact family. This is what [...]

Has the Pain and Stress of Divorce Caused You to Take up Bad Habits?

Submitted by: Mark Banschick Bad Habit One: Your husband left you and you’re feeling despondent; you’re not sure how you’re going to make ends meet. All of a sudden, you find yourself with a cigarette in your mouth. Your father died of emphysema ten years ago and, until this moment, you hadn’t smoked up since. [...]

What is The Value of Grief: Part Two

Submitted by: Mark Banschick The Value of Grief: Part I Grief is the natural, psychological response to the loss of a marriage, and you need to go through it in order to come out of your divorce healthy and strong. Let’s understand grief more deeply. It will help you go through it in a healthy [...]

The Value of Grief Part I

Submitted by: Mark Banschick Grief is positive; it’s part of healing. If you bang your toe and it bruises or bleeds, your physiological reaction is part of the recovery process. The pain you feel is a signal to be tender with your toe—not to test it. Swelling tells you that your immune system is taking [...]

Marriage, Money and Recession: Will Your Marriage Survive?

Submitted by: Mark Banschick M.D. New York Times columnist, Nicholas Kristof, tells us something interesting in his November 6th article, entitled Our Banana Republic. Apparently, new research points to increasing divorces occurring due to the stress of poor economic times. This should surprise no one, but it should alarm us all. Love makes marriage work, [...]

Managing Red Brain Anger

Submitted by: Mark Banschick M.D. Most parents can get angry if not down right rageful, in the midst of a divorce.  Anger usually provokes more anger from the other party and damage may be done if your kids are present.  Managing a tough relationship with your ex-husband or wife requires maintaining safe boundaries, as well [...]

Divorce: Respecting The Intergenerational Boundary

Submitted by: Mark Banschick M.D. There is a boundary between generations which is called the Intergenerational Boundary. This is a fundamental truism that I operate on when I see a family. Parents need to know what to share with their children and what they should keep to themselves. Oftentimes after a divorce, or even after [...]

A Child’s Bill of Rights

Submitted by: Mark Banschick M.D. Some divorced people feel so betrayed or hurt by their ex-spouse that they cannot get over their anger. They may want to retaliate and punish their ex-spouse. These attempts to punish don’t accomplish much, except perhaps making the angry spouse feel good for a brief moment. Kids deserve a “Bill [...]

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