Delaine

For eight years, I lived what appeared to be the family dream – three young kids, a nice home, a loving husband…

But at age 37, my entire identity was wiped out by infidelity and divorce.  I followed all of society’s rules, I thought lifelessly. And for what – THIS?

To my absolute shock however, one part of me suddenly came alive: my sexuality. I wrestled with it hard, trying to push it down. I was a stay-at-home MOM after all, and one who conducted herself by high morals and principles.

But my body wanted what it wanted. And, because my head and heart were too messed up to take charge, I followed it. Over the next year, my body thrust my life forward, demanding that I recognize how much of my Self and passion I’d sublimated to be the perfect mom and wife.   It was time to get ‘her’ back.

My body-driven awakenings drove me to write my upcoming memoir, A Woman’s Body Never Lies. It is the hard-earned story of how my body roused to become both my rescuer and master spiritual teacher during a critical year of change and self-discovery.  In life events stripping me down to my bare bones, I realized that my body wore it all – my pains, my placations, my truth, my desires.   Problem was, I’d never learned how to listen to it; a wound that festers in the souls of women everywhere.

Now, almost three years into my divorce, though I feel like a different Woman within my skin, the learning continues  – the good, the bad, and the ‘naughty’. Sometimes I still have bad moments, even bad days, where I feel completely overwhelmed with my plate of life.  But mmmmm, sometimes it’s as satisfying as a piece of chocolate cake (*wink).

Even if I don’t know where exactly my life is headed, I know I’ll never suppress my passionate Self to be what someone else wants me to be. Nor will I settle for a life of mediocrity again. And I want other divorcing women to know that even though this crisis looks and feels like hell, it is NOT their final destination; it is but a detour of hard-knocks designed to bring them home – to themselves.

A formally trained journalist and cognitive therapist, Delaine is a guest expert contributor to The New York Times’ About  on the topics of sex and dating post-divorce, and First Wives World.  Her essay, “Less Than a Bump and a Grind,” won the Readers’ Choice Award in Novelette.com’s essay competition and has been chosen to be published in their upcoming book (Fall 2010).  She recently appeared as a guest on Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Cosmo Radio (SIRIUS Satellite radio) talk show, “Get in Bed” and her memoir, A Woman’s Body Never Lies, is currently under agent submission to major publishing houses.