In this article you will find links that will help you not only get a divorce but arm you with knowledge you will need during the divorce process.

Which is Right For You, Divorce or Legal Separation?

Perhaps you are struggling with the idea of divorce but feel the need for time away from the marriage. Click the link above to help you decide whether it is a divorce you need or a legal separation.

How to Prepare For a Divorce

If you have definitely decided to divorce there are steps you will want to take to prepare yourself before you even file for the divorce. The link above leads to an article that helps you prepare yourself for the divorce process before the process begins.

How to Navigate The Legal Process of Divorce

Once you file for a divorce and the process begin, what next? The link above leads to an article that will explain what happens once the divorce is filed. You will learn about everything from temporary court orders to what to expect during the discovery phase of divorce.

A legal separation is an option other than divorce for those who want to live apart. By choosing legal separation women can save both money as well as conflict. A legal separation is mostly used as a trial run before the court awards a judgment of divorce. During a legal separation you can take the time to work on the marital problems with your husband while living apart or, if need be us the space and distance to work on your own personal issues.

A legal separation can be viewed as a “breather” from the marital problems. Once you have removed yourself from your husband you may begin to see things more clearly. Legal separation is perfect for those who are not sure about divorce but need a break.

For the duration of a legal separation, a separation agreement will be drawn up with the assistance of an attorney.  A legal separation agreement can be later converted to a divorce declaration if you should make the decision to eventually divorce. The conversion usually happens with the help of divorce mediation which should considered as an inexpensive process which does not involve a courtroom battle.

The Advantages of a Legal Separation :

1. You can stay married while living separate lives. A legal separation is mostly considered in cases where the couple finds it extremely tough to get along and live amicably. With the help of legal separation, you can take a break and figure out what you and your husband want from each other and the marriage. There is no valid reason to rush into divorce, as it may be a decision you may repent later.

2. During a legal separation you can either opt to work things out or you can either proceed towards a divorce.  Many a times women prefer opting for a legal separation instead of a divorce because of religious beliefs.

3. For those worried about losing health insurance coverage a legal separation may be the answer. During a legal separation you live separately but still have the same protections that marriage gives you. Financially this can be a smarter option than divorce.

Not all states offer the option of a legal separation. Consult your state’s divorce laws to find out if your state incorporates legal separation in with their family law code.  Even if your state doesn’t recognize legal separation there is no reason you and your husband can’t hire a divorce attorney and come to an agreement while choosing to live apart. It won’t be an agreement that is “court ordered” but it will be a binding contract between you and your husband which makes it enforceable.

Editor’s Note: Erica Manfred, author of He’s History, You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After 40, writes a weekly column at www.wowowow.com.

She answers reader questions about divorce, everything from how to deal with betrayal, to surviving the first year, to dating again, to finding a new career. If you have a question for the “Divorce Doctor,” e-mail submit@wowOwow.com. For more advice from Erica, visit www.heshistory.com.

Thebbs B. asks:

Is there anything I could do to legally force my ex to honor the divorce agreement he signed – without having to come up with a large sum of money for an attorney? I do not have enough money to hire an attorney to prove to a judge why I desperately need him to honor what should be a legally binding divorce decree. (The amount of money that he’s NOT sent to me over the years is approximately $66,000.)

Erica Answers: The answer to this question sucks, but in my state, New York, and in many other states there’s nothing you can do without an attorney – unless you represent yourself, which is certainly worth a try. A divorce is a civil action, and like any civil suit, you can’t collect without an attorney. Not paying child support is a different matter. You can go to jail for that, even though few parents actually do. Visit the court clerk and Legal Aid for help and try representing yourself. You may well be able to get an order to collect the money owed. What have you got to lose? There is probably something you could have done at the time of the divorce, though that’s very little comfort now. But other women could learn from your example: Ladies, if your husband is a sneaky sleazebag who’s unlikely to pay alimony or other monthly obligations to you, get as much as possible upfront in the initial settlement and don’t depend on monthly payments. They’re much too hard to collect.

Linda S. asks:

My partner and I separated last year right before my 50th birthday. Two of our three children (ages 22 and 17) live with me. I have a great support system with my friends; however, I am concerned about meeting new people. All of my friends are married or in long-term relationships. I also had to quit school to look for a job due to the recession. My concerns about meeting new people and finding a job are stressful … So is not knowing about the future. How do you deal with uncertainty and meeting new people?

Erica Answers: It’s really rough to face the world alone after being part of a couple for 20-odd years. If you’re referring to meeting people as in “people of the opposite sex,” don’t despair. You’re in a good age group — right in the middle of the baby boom. There are lots of men in their 50s and 60s looking for you. Put on your sexy jeans and test the waters with Internet dating. You won’t necessarily find Mr. Right No. 2 this way, but you will get some dating practice, which you probably need after being married for most of your adult life. As for finding a job, that’s more difficult. Did you finish school? If not, make that a priority even if you have to borrow to do it. In this job market, education is key. As for uncertainty, none of us really know what the future will hold. We pretend that we do but then death, divorce or another tragedy hits and life is up for grabs. If you see uncertainty as an adventure, an opportunity to reinvent your life rather than only a source of stress, meeting new people will become a welcome challenge.

L. A. asks:

How can I be a good friend to someone going through a divorce?  I have never been married, therefore, never divorced. I have a friend who went through a divorce a few years ago. She doesn’t seem to be over her ex-husband (who left her after two decades for her best friend). At times, she is so emotionally fragile I worry about her well-being. I don’t think she’d hurt herself but she may pursue a not-so-great relationship with someone for the companionship. She also is still attracted to the same type of man – self-absorbed and emotionally unavailable. I’ve pointed out mutual acquaintances that I think would make good partners, but she’s not really interested. I know I can’t force her to like someone, but she describes someone who appears to be very kind and caring as not her intellectual equal. I want to point out that the last “intellectual equal” she dated treated her terribly.

In short, how do I be the friend she needs? How do I know when to be a shoulder to cry on versus when to be a dose of reality? Or when to tell her that she needs to toughen up? Is this even my role? (She sees several therapists each week.)

Erica Answers: This has got to be one of the most frustrating questions there is. How do you help a friend who won’t help herself? Being walked out on after 20 years for your best friend would make anyone emotionally fragile. I think you need to walk a fine line between taking care of yourself and taking care of her. At this point the friend she probably needs is a fun friend, not a shoulder-to-cry-on friend. She has therapists for that. She needs a buddy to hang out with, go to movies and out to dinner with, have a good time with, to get her mind off her troubles. Reassure her that you care about her but try to avoid the heavy heart-to-heart talks. If she brings up the kind and caring guy who’s not her intellectual equal, feel free to point out that the last “intellectual equal” was a rat, and then drop the subject. Don’t try to talk her into seeing the world your way. Hopefully eventually she will recognize that we can’t change other people, only ourselves. It’s a hard lesson but it sure makes friendship (and life) a lot easier.

More Articles:

Ask the Divorce Doctor: Why Did he Leave me After 30 Years?

The Financial Impact of Divorce: There is More to it Than Splitting Marital Assets

Alimony…Should he Pay if he Trades in the Old Model After 30 or 40 Years of Marriage?