Wrestling with Words

One of the most unexpected things about being divorced is how clumsy my tongue has become. I find certain words or phrases trip me up; words like “ex” or “divorced.” A friend of mine says he keeps stumbling over pronouns; struggling with me instead of we and mine instead of ours. At one time, my [...]

A Room of my Own!

Submitted by: Robin Dake I did not like getting a divorce. Divorce is painful and wrenching. It is ugly. It is the death of dreams. Divorce is not something anyone aspires to. However, now that we have slogged through the year of proceedings and court dates and oppressive emotions, I have a confession to make: [...]

Seven Under-Appreciated Benefits of Divorce

Submitted by: Cathy If you’ve been through a divorce, you know the pain of divorce. Did you know or have you yet discovered the benefits though? I know it is hard to believe that divorce has its benefits, especially if you are someone who didn’t want a divorce. Just ask any woman who has gone [...]

Painted Pink Toenails: Today I Breathe Again!

Submitted by: Robin Dake I painted my toenails last week. At one time, I kept red polish on my toes – bright red, happy red. I had tried other colors, but kept coming back to red. At one time, I sparkled. But somehow, in this last year, as my 18-year marriage crumbled, cleaved, then ended, [...]

Divorce Recovery: Beware Expectations

Submitted by Divorce Coach Shelley Stile In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actually works and are based on the [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach: Conflicting Feelings

Question: Dear Shelley, I have been separated since May and find myself on a roller coaster of emotions every day. I have far too much contact with my ex (my choice) and it pains me to see him happy. I was blindsided with the separation and love him dearly. I know I am being destructive [...]

“Ex” – An Ugly Little Word?

Submitted by Delaine “EX-husband,”  “EX-wife,”  “The EX.”   The term “ex” is one we all use after divorce, in both our written and oral communications.  It’s something we don’t  give much thought to either – it’s just part of the English language, right?  But have you ever noticed how you feel when say it?   What about when someone ELSE uses it [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach: Trying To Parent With A Broken Heart

Question: Dear Shelley: I want to know what steps I should take to get over my anger and hurt so I can be a normal mom again to my two kids. I was married for nine years and found out shortly after our eighth wedding anniversary that he was cheating.  My anger lies in the [...]

Ask The Divorce Coach – Still Stuck Six Years Later

Question: Dear Shelley, I was married for 25 years, have been separated for six years, and now divorced for three years. I recently found out that my ex has a girlfriend, goes to her place at night, of course is having sex with her, and it is making me crazy. I cry all the time and am depressed. [...]

With Time and Distance Comes a Calm Heart

Submitted by: Maya I caught a glimpse of the ex the other day. We had to be in the same place and cordially stayed on opposite sides of the room. He always keeps his back to me when we are in these situations but I always sit facing him, daring him to look into my [...]

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